Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Marriage, Divorce and the Economy: No Excuse for Irresponsible Parenting

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

Is our down-turned economy having an effect on divorce in the United States and other nations around the world? While it's too early for statistical evidence, reports from marriage counselors and divorce attorneys around the globe are in agreement. They're finding many couples who were ready to call it quits are post-posting the divorce decision due to financial reasons. In the U.S., with housing values at near-record lows, wide-ranging cuts in salaries and a dramatic rise in unemployment rates, many couples are just not divorcing because they are afraid they can't afford it.

Does this mean couples are finding new ways to get along and reconsider their marriages? In some cases, yes, but for many it just means adapting to continued states of unhappiness and coping with disappointment and frustration. This, of course, does not bear well for the children of these unions. They experience the negative consequences of a distressed marriage whether the couple splits up or chooses to stay together because of economic factors.

While many couples are too financially dependent on one another to make a break, at the same time they have lost their emotional interdependence which helps a couple thrive during outside challenges. Without the affection and emotional connection, these couples are basically roommates sharing a home and living expenses.

The problem is that they are also parents of children who may be even more confused than ever about life at home. Mom and Dad are still married and together - but are they? This is a big concern for therapists, school guidance counselors, clergy and others who understand children's emotional and psychological needs during times of high stress.

In the past it was common for divorce rates to spike during times of financial insecurity. Back in the recession of 1997 the divorce rate rose close to 20%. However, economists note that during real tough times, such as the Great Depression in the early 1930s, divorce rates do decline because people can't afford the luxury of splitting into two separate homes.

There are no clear resolutions for today's economic crisis or for parents caught up in the whirlwind around the divorce decision. However, staying together in a marriage that continues in "form" only can be a damaging situation for the children. That's because those marriages often fail to focus on the emotional safety and security factors that children need in order to thrive, feel self- confident and express themselves.

Parents -- whatever you do, stop and ask yourself some fundamental questions before moving ahead whether in - or out - of the marriage:

• Despite economic stress are we taking the time to give our children the loving attention they deserve?
• Are we as parents providing a loving environment for our children - whether we share the same residence or two separate abodes?
• Are we providing the nurturing, values and personal time we want to instill in our children despite our own challenges as adults?
• Are we creating family time rituals with one or both parents so our children feel that we still are a "family" regardless of the form it takes?
• Should we be seeking outside professional help to make sure our children are feeling safe, secure, loved and peaceful in their home environment(s)?
• Are we being honest with our children about our circumstances without confiding adult details to them that would be confusing and burdensome for them at their age?
• Are we restraining from arguing, badmouthing each other, creating tension, bitterness, sarcasm or other negativity when the children are present?
• Are we reminding our children how much we love them and will continue to love them regardless of changes in where and how we live?

How you answer these questions will determine the quality of life your children experience - whether they are residing in one residence or two. Always remember, you are parents first - and a couple struggling with marital or divorce issues second. Isn't that the way it should be?
* * *

Rosalind Sedacca's Child-Centered Divorce Network provides numerous free articles, an ezine and other valuable resources for parents at www.childcentereddivorce.com, Her new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids ... about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! is also available at www.howdoitellthekids.com.

© Rosalind Sedacca 2009. All rights reserved.





8095 Popash Court, Boynton Beach, FL 33437, USA

ChildSharing, Inc. Opens East Coast Office

News Release

Contact: Lori Lavigne
T: 805.354.1139
F: 805.221.5710
www.ChildSharing.com ChildSharing, Inc.
204 West Spear Street.
Carson City, NV 89703
email: lori@ChildSharing.com



ChildSharing, Inc. Opens East Coast Office

ChildSharing Inc. is an online provider offering co-parenting classes, a host of resource tools for parents, and aid to family courts around the country in an effort to better equip families as they deal with issues related to raising children between multiple homes.

25 May 2010 Carson City, NV– ChildSharing, Inc. is pleased to announce the opening of a new office in the East Coast. The office is located in Atlanta, Georgia, and is currently open for business. “ChildSharing is thrilled to be in Atlanta. With our growing success among counties across the United States, it was an easy decision to open up an office in the East Coast,” states Hector Libs, Director of Professional Services. “The expansion of our business will enable ChildSharing, Inc. to remain on the cutting edge of our industry delving into other market areas while maintaining our reputation for stellar customer service.”
Founded in 2008, ChildSharing, Inc. is dedicated to advancing the field of child-sharing as a means of better educating families faced with raising children between two homes. Guided by a strong development team, ChildSharing works with experts throughout the United States to provide its members with the most comprehensive information and resources for educating and raising children between multiple homes. For more information about ChildSharing, Inc and its team of experts, visit http://www.ChildSharing.com.


The website and programs mentioned are available immediately on www.ChildSharing.com.
Media interested in setting up an interview with ChildSharing, Inc. representatives regarding the online program should contact Lori Lavigne in the development planning office (805-354-1139 or lori@ChildSharing.com).

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

How Your Sadness Affects Your Kids After the Divorce

How Your Sadness Affects Your Kids After the Divorce
The following article was written by Alyssa Johnson, a remarriage and step family relationship coach. She focuses on an important area that all parents must be aware of - how your children perceive and interpret your feelings. Please heed her advice!
Divorce is one of the biggest life changes one can experience. Everyone's reactions to it are different all the way from mild to extreme. While it's important not to ignore those reactions, they also have to be balanced with all of the other life expectations that you have. Unfortunately, I see this lack of balance happen a lot. The most common expectation area to be dropped is parenting.
You don't stop parenting when you get a divorce. Yes, you may be grieving - but so are your children. Your entire life may have been turned upside down - but so has your children's. It's very common for children of divorce to misunderstand their parent's grief as rejection. They see their parents not functioning like they used to - not able to be there from them emotionally because emotionally they are hurting. Children usually are not sophisticated enough to understand the depths of feelings that their parents are experiencing. They easily get that you are sad, or angry or upset, but they don't understand how that may translate into not feeling like making dinner or having the patience to sit down and play a game.
Rather than making the connection - "Oh, dad's upset about the divorce" they tend to wonder, "Why isn't dad spending time with me anymore? What have I done?" While I know this is not your intention, it's important to be aware of this common misconception. There are a few ways of alleviating that though:
1. Be upfront with your kids - Tell them "Mommy's sad right now. You haven't done anything. I'm trying to feel better."
2. Try to do something - Maybe you're not up for going to the park to play, but could you just sit on the couch and cuddle with your kids?
3. Use time apart wisely - While strong emotions may be bubbling at the surface all the time, you don't have to express them every moment. If you need to cry, try to do the heaviest crying when the kids are not around you. If you need to rage, do this around adult friends when the kids aren't there.
4. Seek some support - If all of these suggestions still seem beyond you, I'd encourage you to look for a good counselor to help you through this grief process. Your kids need you. They may be hurting just as much as you.
Thank you Alyssa for sharing your wisdom on this sensitive topic. You can learn more about Alyssa Johnson at http://www.RemarriageSuccess.com and http://www.RemarriageCommunity.com.
* * *
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, is the author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! For more information about the book, her free articles, ezine and other valuable resources for parents, visit http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.
© 2009 All rights reserve. Rosalind Sedacca

8095 Popash Court, Boynton Beach, FL 33437, USA

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Parenting Secret of the Week:

From: Dr. Laura Markham [mailto:DrLauraMarkham=AhaParenting.com@mcsv22.net] On Behalf Of Dr. Laura Markham
Sent: Monday, May 16, 2011 7:12 PM
To: michelle@childsharing.com
Subject: Weekly Secrets of Happy Parents - May 16, 2011





Parenting Secret of the Week:
Help Your Child Discover His Passion
Enthusiasm. Engagement. It's almost the definition of childhood. A jaded withdrawn, child is a red flag that something is very wrong.

We all recognize that feeling of full engagement that gives meaning to our lives, when we apply ourselves so completely to the task at hand that we tap into all our resources and then some we never knew we had.
Abraham Maslow described these as “peak moments,” sports stars call it “being in the zone", zen masters express it as being fully present. Somehow, we bring ourselves so completely to the moment that we seem to step out of time, even out of ourselves. For all of us, it is when we are most fully alive.
Zen masters, of course, can experience this ecstatic state while doing the laundry or stirring the oatmeal, and such experiences, at least occasionally, are one of the many benefits of a regular meditation practice or athletic regimen. Small children actually live in this state much of the time.
Most humans, however, are more likely to experience peak moments while striving towards a goal. Dopamine, a highly pleasurable neurotransmitter released in the brain in response to alcohol, nicotine, marijuana, cocaine and other mood altering drugs, is naturally present in the brain when we wholeheartedly pursue a goal. Study after study exploring happiness indicates that humans are happiest when they are fully engaged in a challenging activity.
In our culture, the satisfaction and pleasure humans get from achieving goals has become warped by the emphasis on money and possessions. Although many of us continue to pursue more material things, including higher salaries, their attainment is less satisfying the more we have.
Unfortunately, this is true for kids as well. Studies show that affluent children are more likely to be bored, less enthusiastic, and less likely to report deriving pleasure from their activities.
Engagement is protective for children. Kids who are passionate about something -- basketball, chess, collecting comic books, playing the trumpet – tend to protect their passion. Smoking compromises the trumpet player’s wind, late nights carousing throw off the ball player’s game, and the serious student knows she wants her mind clear for tomorrow's test.
So how can we help our children to experience the rewards of full engagement?...(Keep reading...)

Ages & Stages: Preschoolers
Positive Parenting Your Preschooler
Ages three to five have been called The Wonder Years, and wondrous they are, ping-ponging from whining and tantrums to politeness to cuddling to exuberance to exploding intellect.
Preschoolers are explorers, scientists, artists. They're learning how to be friends, how to engage with the world, how to control their bodies, emotions and minds. With a little help from you, these years will build a fertile foundation for your son or daughter's entire childhood.
What your preschooler needs from you:
1. Structure. Regular routines help kids feel safe, and are vital for preschoolers, who grapple with big fears on a daily basis. The world is chaotic and scary to them; their household should be predictable. A calm, orderly and fun atmosphere, with regular meal and bedtime routines, will produce happier children who have the internal resources to meet daily developmental challenges.
2. Enough sleep. Preschoolers may resist bedtime, but without sufficient sleep, three to five year olds simply do not have the resourcefulness to cope with the demands of their day. Develop a regular routine that helps her wind down and start relaxing well before bedtime. When he gives up his nap, be sure he still gets some downtime to rest every day.
3. Control over her own food intake. Give them responsibility for how much they eat. Remember that most young children need frequent small meals, and if you don’t provide that, they’ll end up snacking all day. If you always provide a variety of healthy food, you can feel comfortable letting them choose which ones they eat and how much. Never set up a clean plate as the goal; instead, when they say they're done, ask them how their body feels. Obesity starts in preschool. If you're bothered by throwing the food away, buy a composter -- and ask yourself why not wasting food is more important than your child's future physical health and body image? Children don't starve themselves.....(continue reading)

Blog Post of the Week
Your Child's Action Plus Your Reaction = Outcome
"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom." -- Victor Frankl
"Dr. Laura -- Your emails on how mindfuless makes us better parents are useful, I admit. But I signed up for your email to help me change my kid's behavior, not mine!" -- Gerri

Mindfulness is not about changing anyone, it's about bringing our attention to our experience. But the magic of loving attention is that changes everything it touches -- us, and also our child. Because when we change our way of showing up with our kids, their behavior changes. Let me explain.
All parents would like to change their child's behavior at times. We want our kids to act responsible, considerate, cheerful. What are our choices?
A. Force them physically to do what we want.
B. Manipulate them emotionally to do what we want.
C. Set up the conditions of their life so they're more likely to do what we want.
D. Relate to them in a way that makes it more likely they'll do what we want.
Option A (Force them physically to do what we want) might change the behavior, and there are times when it's necessary, such as when we stop our child from running into the street or clobbering his little brother. But it only works while we're a lot stronger. Worse, it doesn't actually help our child develop into the person we're hoping he'll become.... which means maybe we're actually aiming to do something much tougher than changing our child's behavior. We want to help our child to develop into a certain kind of person -- a responsible, considerate, thoughtful, happy person. Research shows that kids who are physically forced into a desired behavior don't "own" that behavior.
Option B (Manipulate them emotionally to do what we want) can work for a lifetime to impact your child's behavior, as proven by the number of people who routinely use guilt to manipulate their grown children. But it doesn't raise the emotionally intelligent kid you're hoping for -- and it sabotages your relationship with your child. It's a powerful, but dangerous (and probably immoral) tool.
Option C (Set up the conditions of their life so they're more likely to do what we want) is extremely useful when kids are young. Baby-proof the house and your child won't break the valuables. Give her enough sleep and she's less likely to tantrum. Sit with her while she does her homework in elementary school and she's more likely to become a stellar student. But as kids get older and spend more time away from us, we have a lot less control over the conditions of their lives. So this tool is essential to help kids learn good habits, but it's not enough by itself.
Option D (Relate to them in a way that makes it more likely they'll do what we want) assumes that our relationship with our child is the most important factor in his or her development, which is what scientists now believe. Kids do what we want because they care about the relationship and because they don't want to disappoint us. Because they're more open to our guidance, they internalize all those good habits you're trying to teach and model. Research shows that kids who .... (Continue reading)

Parenting Question of the Week
Preschooler Jealous of Baby, Developing Attitude
My son will be 4 yrs old in July. I always give him choices on things so that he doesn't feel powerless but it doesn't seem to matter, he seems to want to argue with everything I say these days. He is VERY jealous of his 16 month old baby sister. He alternates between wanting to be nice to her to shoving her or yelling in her face for the littlest of things. He is also obsessed with taking away toys from her. I feel like all I do is tell him no. For instance the other day he shoved his sister down and she split her lip. He seems unconcerned whenever he is mean to her. I am worried he will really hurt her one day and not mean to. He told me today he wanted a different mom, which broke my heart. I do lose my temper and I do yell even though I know I shouldn't....I just can't seem to make him understand otherwise what he did was wrong if I don't yell.

I am so sorry to hear your little guy is having such a tough time -- and giving you and his sister such a tough time! It is not unusual to have a difficult adjustment to a new sibling, and he’s also at a challenging age. But most worrisome is his anger at you. He is not telling you that he wants a new mom because he is testing you. He is furious at you, and doesn’t know what to do with those feelings.

Look at it this way. He was your only child. You were the center of his universe. Enter the interloper, your darling little girl. He feels mortally wounded, heart-broken. He is in mourning with no words to express what he’s lost. What’s worse, he feels hateful toward his sister, and every time he expresses it he loses your love. He’s trapped in his tangled up angry emotions, which cause him to lash out. He feels terrible about himself for being so “evil.” And he feels your anger at him, your giving up on him. So not only is he bereft, but his doting mom has disappeared and been replaced by someone who yells at him. He may be expressing anger, but underneath, he’s heart-broken at the loss of your love and respect.

It's difficult to be three. Kids are trying hard to master all kinds of developmental tasks. Parents often crack down with too many rules and expectations. Three year olds desperately need their parents and want to please them, and are acutely sensitive to any lack of parental approval. They really can't bear it when they think you're finding fault with them, which is why they might tell you to shut up!.... (Continue reading)


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Quotes of the Week
Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies. -- Bacon Babble

"It’s no picnic reaching out to an angry child. But if you get busy defending yourself and straightening out the truth, you won’t be concentrating on your frightened child. She needs to tell you just how far away from you she feels before she can let you help her with her fears. Listening to passionately felt bitterness while you continue to offer your caring seems to be the fastest, most efficient way through the tangle. Remember, your child is frightened and sad inside, and wants to find some way to trust you again, so she can finally sob in your arms and feel your protection, your love for her." -- Patty Wipfler

"Temper tantrums are acts of desperation. They are not calculated efforts at manipulation. If your child is having temper tantrums, try to make yourself more available, not less available." – Martha Heineman Pieper

"Try to see your child as a seed that came in a packet without a label. Your job is to provide the right environment and nutrients and to pull the weeds. You can’t decide what kind of flower you’ll get or in which season it will bloom." -- Anonymous

"May we know when to surrender, and do so with grace. May we remember that some people's lives are parched dry... and be grateful for the abundance in ours. May we carry our loads with ease amid sweetness. May we learn and teach well. May we take exquisite care of ourselves. May we find life in new and exciting ways. May we come to the surface for air when we need it. And may everything that hurts us also be a little funny. -- Rabbi Brad Hirschfield

What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.” – Pericles
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Looking for that Aha! Moment to transform your child’s behavior, or maybe your own? Whether you're wondering how to handle a specific challenge, just figuring out your child-raising approach, or ready to tear your hair out, Aha! Parenting can help. Dr. Laura Markham is only a phone call away.

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Positive Parenting Your Terrible, Terrific Toddler
So your precious infant has somehow grown into a walking (or at least toddling), talking (or at least trying to string three words together) human being, who enchants you with his big heart and drives you crazy with his mule-headedness. In this audio , you'll learn:
• What's going on in your todder's brain?
• Specific suggestions to live peacefully with a toddler
• Your toddler's developmental tasks
• What your toddler needs from you.
• Why toddlers need routines.
• How to handle tantrums.
• How to maximize your fun with this terrific little person, and minimize the aggravation!
Download Now:
Positive Parenting Your Terrible, Terrific Toddler


From a listener:
"Thank you so much for your talk on Toddlers! Your comments on brain development taught me new information that is very useful in understanding what makes my son tick. I can't wait to try your suggestions for what to say to him and how to make things go smoother." -- Tammy
________________________________________
Help Your Child WANT to Behave
Would you like to try a more gentle form of discipline but you aren't sure how? Parents who spank, yell, or use timeouts and "consequences" as threats are often disbelieving when they hear that there are families who never hit, never use timeouts, and rarely raise their voices to their children.

But you shouldn’t need to use these methods of discipline, and if you're using them now, you'll probably be quite relieved to hear that not only can you wean yourself away from them, but your children will be better behaved as a result. This ebook will get you started. I personally guarantee that you'll see positive results in your relationship with your child, and in your child's behavior, within two weeks. If you don't your money will be promptly and cheerfully refunded.
Download Now: Help Your Child WANT to Behave

From readers:
"This ebook was Awesome! I loved what I was reading and wanted to read more, your emails and books are like an epiphany for me." - Christie

Thank You, Dr. Laura for the ebook about positive discipline. I am so grateful to have found your inspiration and wisdom. My heart is open from feeling the love and support you give. I am thankful for help in raising children who are loved and happy. With immense gratitude, Danielle
________________________________________
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Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Child-Centered Divorce: ParentalWisdom.com a unique concept ParentalWisdom.com: a unique concept for families coping with divorce.

Child-Centered Divorce: ParentalWisdom.com a unique concept
ParentalWisdom.com: a unique concept for families coping with
divorce.

By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

Being a parent is never easy. Challenges regarding children are
inevitable and always stressful. Tina Nocera has come up with a
unique website that provides sound advice for parents. They can ask
questions and get multiple answers from experts in a variety of
fields.

Parents are encouraged to ask questions on any topic that concerns
them. What makes this website so distinctive is that the parents
will not just receive one answer. They will benefit from expert
advice from a number of professionals in that field.
ParentalWisdom.com understands that no question ever has just one
answer. Parents can choose the advice that best fits their
circumstances. This concept is so unique it's patented!

I am proud to announce that I have been invited to be one of the
Expert Advisors on the topic of divorce and parenting. As the
author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A
Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! I
answer questions about facing, moving through or transitioning
beyond divorce for families and single parents.

Whenever a question about divorce and children comes up, I am sent
that question to answer. Other Expert Advisors provide their
wisdom, as well. The parent benefits from a broader range of
options and can try many solutions.

Michael Mastracci, Esq. is another new Expert Advisor at
ParentalWidsom.com. Mastracci is the author of the new book, Stop
Fighting Over the Kids. He is a Collaborative Divorce attorney who
uses his personal and professional experience to guide parents in
the best direction for their children. Mastracci's advice, coming
from the legal perspective, helps parents transition through their
divorce in the most positive possible way for everyone in the
family. His website is www.divorcewithoutdishonor.com.

Armed with a diverse variety of experts on most every topic related
to parenting, ParentalWisdom.com has earned a reputation for
providing great advice from a roster of many authorities. Parents
would be wise to check out this free website any time they have
questions about any facet of parenting.

* * *
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator and
author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids ... about the
Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children --
with Love! The book provides fill-in-the-blank templates for
customizing a personal family storybook that guides children
through this difficult transition with optimum results. For free
articles on child-centered divorce or to subscribe to her free
ezine, go to: www.childcentereddivorce.com.

© Rosalind Sedacca 2009. All rights reserved.

8095 Popash Court, Boynton Beach, FL 33437, USA

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Dear Friends,

Dear Friends,

I hope you enjoyed Don McAvinchey's 'Beyond Divorce MiniSummit' this week, and his 'Empowerment Week TeleSummit' last week. There were some incredible speakers on his calls:
*Delaine Moore on dating after divorce.
*Patrick McMillan on raising your kids to be happy through the divorce process.
*Nicolle Kopping-Pavars on Collaborative Divorce and our responsibility to be good people through this challenging time.
*Lisa Decker on Beginning a Winning Divorce (and what it takes to make sure you're coming out of divorce in the best shape possible!)
*Ron Lasorsa on putting kids as your first priority through the divorce transition.

It was all great, and my colleague Don added his own thoughts in two talks on helping women get through this transition and come out the other side whole and complete.
Don's asked me to tell you about a bonus opportunity to listen in on the replay of this week's Beyond Divorce MiniSummit:

"Would you be so kind to let your friends know about our replays from our "Beyond Divorce MiniSummit" being up and available for them to listen to at their leisure? I'm going to keep them up until Sunday, May 8th, so pass that word on to them if you would. They'll get to hear:
*Lee Block from www.PostDivorceDatingClub.com talk about the challenges of moving from being married to being single, and loving yourself again.
*Rhonda Ryder from www.KidsAwakening.com on "Why Hating Your Ex is Screwing Up Your Kids--and how to stop it!"
*Rosalind Sedacca from www.ChildCenteredDivorce.com on "Being Big so Your Children Can Stay Little--Taking a Stand for Your Kids Sanity Through Your Divorce"
*And me, Don McAvinchey, on "The 5 Key Mistakes Women Make After Divorce--and How to Overcome Them in 2011!"

Here are the two links for Day 1 and Day 2 so your members can listen to the replays, sitting in their jammies with a cup of tea!
1st night, Minisummit Replay: http://AttendThisEvent.com/?eventid=19375428
2nd night Minisummit Replay: http://AttendThisEvent.com/?eventid=19375554
Thanks so much!
Your Friend,
Don"

So take Don up on his offer, and go to the links above for the replays of this weeks powerful Beyond Divorce MiniSummit--they are there, waiting for you!

Best regards,

Rosalind Sedacca
The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce


8095 Popash Court
Boynton Beach, FL 33437
Usa

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Power of One: Positive Co-Parenting During & After Divorce

The Power of One: Positive Co-Parenting During & After Divorce
I'm honored to be able to share with you this wonderful article from my guest writer, Cindy Harari, Esq. Take her advice to heart. It is one of the great success secrets of creating a positive Child-Centered Divorce. Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
Having a former spouse or co-parent who is not "on the same page" is one of many challenges during or after divorce. You can stay stuck in a place where you say: "he/she doesn't get it, will never get it, won't do it any other way" or take this time in your life as an opportunity to start doing things differently by shifting the focus to you.
When you say or do something, you cause a response or reaction. If you change the way you say or do things, you cause a change in the response or reaction of the people you are interacting with. I call it "the power of one. " Let's look at an example:
In the course of divorcing, two parents are alternating weekends with their two children, ages 7 and 9. On the weekend that the children are with Mom, the 7 year old has a soccer game at the same time that the 9 year old has been invited to a birthday party. Mom cannot be in two places at once and becomes anxious and frustrated. Of course the children feel it. Mom's perception, based on the dynamic that has evolved between the parents, is that "since it's not Dad's weekend, it's not his concern and I have to figure it out myself." This may create stress for Mom and both children, and may perpetuate a complete lack of awareness in Dad.
What if Mom put aside her pre-conceived ideas about what Dad's response might be and, even though it's not "his" weekend, asked him to participate with her to facilitate the children's activities on this day? It's a different approach. It's one person doing something differently and giving the other person the opportunity to do something differently in turn. It's the power of one.
Maybe the underlying issue is that Mom doesn't really want to share "her" weekend time with Dad. What's that about? Maybe Dad really has no interest in seeing the children other than during "his" scheduled time. That's something to look at too.
Time after time throughout the divorce process there are opportunities to make choices about how to approach issues that come up. If you have made the fundamental commitment to creating a peaceful divorce, you will "talk the talk and walk the walk." Over time, you will make more decisions and take more actions to further your commitment to creating a peaceful divorce.
If you don't get the response you want to something you say or do from your former spouse or co-parent, don't give up! This is a process that takes time, patience and work. You have the power to be proactive, persistent, and consistent about what you do to create your peaceful divorce. That's the power of one.
Of course, no one can control what anyone else says or does in response to what you say or do. However, you may be surprised to find that as you say and do things differently, the dynamics of your relationship with your former spouse or co-parent begin to shift and your peaceful divorce will evolve. You and your children will feel the difference.
Are you interested in exploring how your personal "power of one" can change things? You do not have to do this work alone. Support is available from many sources including coaches, co-parent educators, online co-parent social networks, and local parenting groups.
Do you want to make the best possible child-focused decisions during and after your divorce? You have the power to do so.
* * *
Cindy Harari, Esq. is an attorney, trained parenting coordinator, mediator, and arbitrator.
Her professional training combined with years of practical experience gives Ms. Harari a unique perspective and distinctive insight regarding issues of divorce and parenting. She can be reached at www.peacefuldivorce.ning.com/profile/CindyHarari.
© 2009 Cindy Harari. All Rights Reserved.
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator and author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids ... about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! The book provides fill-in-the-blank templates for customizing a personal family storybook that guides children through this difficult transition with optimum results. For free articles on child-centered divorce or to subscribe to her free ezine, go to: www.childcentereddivorce.com.
© Rosalind Sedacca 2009. All rights reserved.

8095 Popash Court, Boynton Beach, FL 33437, USA

Monday, May 2, 2011

Beyond Divorce Bootcamps

Dear Friends:
I want to remind you about a very cool opportunity that my friend and colleague, Don McAvinchey of Beyond Divorce Bootcamps, is bringing to you this week.
You see, Don hosted the Beyond Divorce Empowerment Week TeleSummit this past week, and had so many people asking for more, and so many divorce experts seeing the buzz and wanting in, that he's gone ahead and interviewed even more of these experts and is offering you the chance to hear their wisdom, advice and coaching FREE this coming Monday and Tuesday!
Here's the line-up:
Today, Monday, May 2nd: Rhonda Rhyder of www.KidsAwakening.com on The Law of Attraction in Raising Kids and Being a Great Parent Through Divorce; and me, Rosalind Sedacca of www.ChildCenteredDivorce.com, on Making Divorce a Time of Strength-building for Your Children and on
Tuesday, May 3rd: Lee Block of www.postdivorcedatingclub.com on "Being Single after Being a Couple and Loving Yourself Again" and then my colleague, Don McAvinchey, on "The 5 Key Mistakes Women Make After Divorce and How to Overcome Them All in 2011!"
You won't want to miss this powerful double-night of FREE coaching and teaching by Don and his Guest Experts!
Click here NOW: http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=1342198
to get all the connection info you'll need to enjoy these calls!
Best wishes,
Rosalind Sedacca

Beyond Divorce Bootcamps

56 Moya Road
Santa Fe, NM
87508
US

8095 Popash Court
Boynton Beach, FL 33437
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