Shared Parenting After Divorce - Sharing Clothes, Toys and Information
Mary Wollard, J.D., Family Solutions Center in Colorado has some valuable advice to share with all Moms and Dads who want to co-parent successfully. Give her advice your attention and you'll nip potential conflicts in the bud.
As you are preparing your parenting plan, it is very helpful if you include some details about how you will share clothes, toys, and information for the children as they transition from one house to the other. This is usually something that parents think will just happen automatically, without any particular discussion, but it often doesn't. By taking a little time to discuss these issues and plan for them during the initial process, you can avoid disagreement and conflict down the road.
Clothes
Regardless of how much time the children are with each parent, it is very helpful if each parent keeps clothes for the children in their own house. As you are separating property in the beginning, include children's clothes for each household. How many outfits each household needs will depend on the parenting schedule you are thinking about. Even if you aren't sure of the schedule as you are initially dividing property, try to allow for at least three outfits for each household, if possible.
If the children's wardrobe is not big enough to be able to set aside clothes for each household, divide the clothes you do have and then each parent can shop for more new or used clothes for their respective household. This system works well for the children because it allows them to have familiar clothes at each house, making them feel more at home in each place.
When the parents have clothes for the children at their own houses, they are much more aware of the children's growing needs. Both parents will know when the children outgrow their clothes and shoes and can replace them accordingly. This awareness can help avoid arguments over child support and the cost of clothes.
Having clothes in each household also helps avoid arguments over clothes not being returned or being returned dirty. How exactly the clothes will be handled for each transition will depend upon the days and times of the exchange.
Toys
After separation and divorce, children often complain that there is nothing much to do at the house where they spend less time. When the children's time is spent fairly evenly at each house, the parents seem to do a better job of providing toys, books, toiletries, and incidentals for the children. As children's time at one house becomes significantly less than 50/50, the parent with less time sometimes overlooks the importance of keeping these everyday items for the children.
Everyone likes to have familiar things around. For children this is especially important to their sense of belonging and comfort. Whether the children are in your home half the time or only a few days a month, keeping toys, games and other things for them will help them feel at home. If you're not sure what they'd like, try making an activity out of gathering these things together. Thrift stores can be great places for these "treasure hunts".
Information
There are many ways people exchange information about the children after separation. The fact that you give some thought and discussion to this issue is more important than the actual methods you decide work best for you.
Before email, blogs, and the internet were prevalent, parents would often include a notebook in the children's backpack or suitcase to transport back and forth between houses. Although this is better than having no way to share information it is not preferred. Communication between parents should not be the children's responsibility. Even though the children are not actually the messengers between parents with the use of a notebook, they still bear the burden of being the delivery person.
The old notebook idea can be updated to take advantage of today's technology. The parents can share information about what's going on with the children and school without giving the children the responsibility of carrying the information back and forth.
Consider scheduling regular email exchanges to share information about the children, school, and activities. To keep email from becoming intrusive, talk about the schedule that will work best for you and try to stick to that schedule. You can use text messaging instead of email, but people sometimes have a harder time setting limits for themselves using text messaging than using email.
You might also consider using a private blog to keep a running dialogue about the children. Several blog sites are free and easy to set up. You can set up the blog to be private so only you parents have access to read and author the blog. This is like the notebook in the backpack, but the parents are fully responsible for keeping track of the blog, relieving the children of that extra burden.
Including in your parenting plan how you will share clothes, toys, and information after separation will help ease the children's fears and concerns as they move between homes. They will appreciate the thought you put into this and will love not having to lug a backpack or suitcase with them.
© 2009, Mary Wollard, J.D., Family Solutions Center, www.cofamilysolutions.com
* * *
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator and author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! The book provides fill-in-the-blank templates for customizing a personal family storybook that guides children through this difficult transition with optimum results. For more information about the book, Rosalind's free articles and free ezine visit http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.
© Rosalind Sedacca 2008. All rights reserved.
8095 Popash Court, Boynton Beach, FL 33437, USA
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Child-Centered Divorce: Children Parenting their Parents
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
Divorce is tough enough. When children try to protect their parents from its consequences, the parenting is moving backwards and the results are devastating. Always be careful of what you share with your children regarding your own emotional state during and after your divorce. It can create enormous confusion for your children, along with guilt, frustration and despair.
Children who experience their parents divorce are helpless to change the circumstances. But they often try. They want to do something to "fix" the situation, but they haven't a clue how. Sometimes they create solutions that make sense in their young minds, but actually cause greater complications. That's why it's so important for parents to take the emotional burden off of the shoulders of their children. Reassure them that Mom and Dad are still their parents and will continue to be there for them with compassion and love. Tell them they need not worry ... and remind them that none of this is in any way their fault or responsibility.
Children can be very resourceful in how they behave when they sense either one of their parents is vulnerable or hurting. Often they will side with one parent over the other as a means of support. They may fear that expressing happiness about time spent with one parent can seem like a betrayal of the other. They worry about hurting the feelings of the emotionally weaker parent - or experiencing the disapproval of the emotionally stronger parent. Either way, it's a lose/lose situation for the child who feels caught in the middle.
Parents are not always aware of how children interpret their comments or emotional displays. If a parent confides to a child that they are very lonely when he or she is with their other parent, it frequently creates a need to "protect" the sad parent. So the child may elaborate on the truth by telling you what they think you want to hear. "I miss you too. I wish I could always be with you. If I didn't have to stay with Mom/Dad I'd never be there."
These small white lies can grow into larger stories - even outrageous lies - with the intent of protecting one or both parents. It can also become a vehicle for pitting both parents against one another. Children easily sense when they can manipulate their circumstances - and their emotionally vulnerable parents. This becomes even easier and more tempting when the parents are not speaking to one another or co-parenting cooperatively. The result can be devastating for everyone in the family - each pointing the finger at the other in blame.
When parents are too caught up in their own self-righteous dramas to put their children's needs first, those children have little recourse but to start parenting themselves. The consequences for the children can take many directions: a sense of mistrust of adults, guilt about knowing they are exploiting their circumstances and deep insecurity because their world is no longer safely guided by parental boundaries. The responsibility here must always fall upon the parents - not the innocent children who are trying to cope with an adult-made situation beyond their control.
Communication is the key to avoiding these complex backward parenting situations. Talk to your children about divorce-related issues as a parent, not a confident. Remember that your former spouse is also a parent that your children love. If your communication with that parent is poor or limited, you are setting your children up for compensating in any way they can - with guilt, frustration, confusion, shame, anger - even revenge -- as the motive.
When you accept responsibility for creating a Child-Centered Divorce and co-parent in the best way for your children's well-being, they will feel more secure, stable, loved, protected and supported. That gives them permission to continue being children without bearing the burden of having to parent their parents after divorce.
Do you want your divorce to rob your children of their right to enjoy their childhood? Of course not! Then understand the serious consequences of backward parenting and communicate mindfully and responsibly when discussing divorce or related family issues with the children you love.
* * *
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator and author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids ... about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! The book provides fill-in-the-blank templates for customizing a personal family storybook that guides children through this difficult transition with optimum results. For more information about the book, Rosalind's free articles and free ezine visit http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.
© Rosalind Sedacca 2009. All rights reserved.
8095 Popash Court, Boynton Beach, FL 33437, USA
Divorce is tough enough. When children try to protect their parents from its consequences, the parenting is moving backwards and the results are devastating. Always be careful of what you share with your children regarding your own emotional state during and after your divorce. It can create enormous confusion for your children, along with guilt, frustration and despair.
Children who experience their parents divorce are helpless to change the circumstances. But they often try. They want to do something to "fix" the situation, but they haven't a clue how. Sometimes they create solutions that make sense in their young minds, but actually cause greater complications. That's why it's so important for parents to take the emotional burden off of the shoulders of their children. Reassure them that Mom and Dad are still their parents and will continue to be there for them with compassion and love. Tell them they need not worry ... and remind them that none of this is in any way their fault or responsibility.
Children can be very resourceful in how they behave when they sense either one of their parents is vulnerable or hurting. Often they will side with one parent over the other as a means of support. They may fear that expressing happiness about time spent with one parent can seem like a betrayal of the other. They worry about hurting the feelings of the emotionally weaker parent - or experiencing the disapproval of the emotionally stronger parent. Either way, it's a lose/lose situation for the child who feels caught in the middle.
Parents are not always aware of how children interpret their comments or emotional displays. If a parent confides to a child that they are very lonely when he or she is with their other parent, it frequently creates a need to "protect" the sad parent. So the child may elaborate on the truth by telling you what they think you want to hear. "I miss you too. I wish I could always be with you. If I didn't have to stay with Mom/Dad I'd never be there."
These small white lies can grow into larger stories - even outrageous lies - with the intent of protecting one or both parents. It can also become a vehicle for pitting both parents against one another. Children easily sense when they can manipulate their circumstances - and their emotionally vulnerable parents. This becomes even easier and more tempting when the parents are not speaking to one another or co-parenting cooperatively. The result can be devastating for everyone in the family - each pointing the finger at the other in blame.
When parents are too caught up in their own self-righteous dramas to put their children's needs first, those children have little recourse but to start parenting themselves. The consequences for the children can take many directions: a sense of mistrust of adults, guilt about knowing they are exploiting their circumstances and deep insecurity because their world is no longer safely guided by parental boundaries. The responsibility here must always fall upon the parents - not the innocent children who are trying to cope with an adult-made situation beyond their control.
Communication is the key to avoiding these complex backward parenting situations. Talk to your children about divorce-related issues as a parent, not a confident. Remember that your former spouse is also a parent that your children love. If your communication with that parent is poor or limited, you are setting your children up for compensating in any way they can - with guilt, frustration, confusion, shame, anger - even revenge -- as the motive.
When you accept responsibility for creating a Child-Centered Divorce and co-parent in the best way for your children's well-being, they will feel more secure, stable, loved, protected and supported. That gives them permission to continue being children without bearing the burden of having to parent their parents after divorce.
Do you want your divorce to rob your children of their right to enjoy their childhood? Of course not! Then understand the serious consequences of backward parenting and communicate mindfully and responsibly when discussing divorce or related family issues with the children you love.
* * *
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator and author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids ... about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! The book provides fill-in-the-blank templates for customizing a personal family storybook that guides children through this difficult transition with optimum results. For more information about the book, Rosalind's free articles and free ezine visit http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.
© Rosalind Sedacca 2009. All rights reserved.
8095 Popash Court, Boynton Beach, FL 33437, USA
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Parenting After Divorce: Three Questions Crucial to Your Success
Parenting After Divorce: Three Questions Crucial to Your Success
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
Michael Matracci, Esq. is one of the "good guy" collaborative divorce attorneys who avidly supports the concept and principles of Child-Centered Divorce. He is the author of a new book, Fighting Over the Kids: Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations, which can be found at his website at www.divorcewithoutdishonor.com.
Recently I interviewed Michael, who is a divorced parent himself. He shared with me a valuable technique he uses when dealing with parenting issues with his former spouse. I loved the concept and am passing it along to other parents who face continuous challenges, month after month, year after year, as they raise their children following a divorce.
Michael asks himself three basic questions that get to the heart of what a child-centered divorce is about: doing the very best for your children. When a parenting issue arises that he and his former spouse have to face, before he takes any action he first answers these questions:
1. If we were two "normal" married parents, what would I do?
2. If we were still married, would this issue really be a big deal?
3. Is this about our child - or more about ME and HER/HIM?
These questions put you in the right perspective for taking wise and effective action. They help you to detach from the emotional "drama" of your divorce. Have you been caught up in your "story" about being a victim, abused, hurt, angry, jealous or exploited by your former spouse? By questioning your motives you can remind yourself that parenting issues are not about YOU; they are about what's in the best interest of the children you love.
That can mean sacrificing some ego gratification, biting your tongue when you want to be sarcastic, being more tolerant of an ex who sees things differently regarding discipline, rules and other parenting choices. At the same time, it can also bring you into closer alignment with your children's other parent which will help you to determine the best outcomes for your children together as their parents.
Most important of all, these questions will remind you that when it comes to parenting decision, always take the high road. Be the "mature" parent who puts their children's needs first. That's always the answer you are looking for - and one that you will never regret.
* * *
For other free articles on Child-Centered Divorce, a free ezine, valuable resources for parents, coaching and other services, visit http://www.childcentereddivorce.com. Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network and author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids ... about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love!
© Rosalind Sedacca 2009 All Rights Reserved
8095 Popash Court, Boynton Beach, FL 33437, USA
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
Michael Matracci, Esq. is one of the "good guy" collaborative divorce attorneys who avidly supports the concept and principles of Child-Centered Divorce. He is the author of a new book, Fighting Over the Kids: Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations, which can be found at his website at www.divorcewithoutdishonor.com.
Recently I interviewed Michael, who is a divorced parent himself. He shared with me a valuable technique he uses when dealing with parenting issues with his former spouse. I loved the concept and am passing it along to other parents who face continuous challenges, month after month, year after year, as they raise their children following a divorce.
Michael asks himself three basic questions that get to the heart of what a child-centered divorce is about: doing the very best for your children. When a parenting issue arises that he and his former spouse have to face, before he takes any action he first answers these questions:
1. If we were two "normal" married parents, what would I do?
2. If we were still married, would this issue really be a big deal?
3. Is this about our child - or more about ME and HER/HIM?
These questions put you in the right perspective for taking wise and effective action. They help you to detach from the emotional "drama" of your divorce. Have you been caught up in your "story" about being a victim, abused, hurt, angry, jealous or exploited by your former spouse? By questioning your motives you can remind yourself that parenting issues are not about YOU; they are about what's in the best interest of the children you love.
That can mean sacrificing some ego gratification, biting your tongue when you want to be sarcastic, being more tolerant of an ex who sees things differently regarding discipline, rules and other parenting choices. At the same time, it can also bring you into closer alignment with your children's other parent which will help you to determine the best outcomes for your children together as their parents.
Most important of all, these questions will remind you that when it comes to parenting decision, always take the high road. Be the "mature" parent who puts their children's needs first. That's always the answer you are looking for - and one that you will never regret.
* * *
For other free articles on Child-Centered Divorce, a free ezine, valuable resources for parents, coaching and other services, visit http://www.childcentereddivorce.com. Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network and author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids ... about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love!
© Rosalind Sedacca 2009 All Rights Reserved
8095 Popash Court, Boynton Beach, FL 33437, USA
Commensurate Consequences
The weight of consequences for misbehavior always needs to be commensurate to the intent behind that behavior.
A teen who periodically comes home fifteen minutes late is probably displaying immaturity and impulsiveness, not rebellion. That teen needs more reminders and perhaps an earlier curfew. On the other hand, a teen who consistently comes home late with the attitude, “No one is telling me what to do!” needs to experience stronger consequences. That’s when taking away car privileges or grounding him would be appropriate.
It’s important for parents to differentiate between willful and accidental disobedience and assign consequences appropriately. Consequences can correct behavior, but basing them on the wrong intent can lead to more serious problems.
©2011 Mark Gregston www.parentingtodaysteens.org.
A teen who periodically comes home fifteen minutes late is probably displaying immaturity and impulsiveness, not rebellion. That teen needs more reminders and perhaps an earlier curfew. On the other hand, a teen who consistently comes home late with the attitude, “No one is telling me what to do!” needs to experience stronger consequences. That’s when taking away car privileges or grounding him would be appropriate.
It’s important for parents to differentiate between willful and accidental disobedience and assign consequences appropriately. Consequences can correct behavior, but basing them on the wrong intent can lead to more serious problems.
©2011 Mark Gregston www.parentingtodaysteens.org.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Discipline and Teenagers
A few years ago my mother said, “You know, you boys weren’t disciplined a whole lot growing up.” I looked at my brother and he looked at me. For a brief moment we wondered if Alzheimer’s was setting in. That’s sure not the way we remember it!
Now I’m not saying we didn’t deserve it…in fact we probably deserved more than we got. But while there was indeed discipline, the style of discipline that we received from our father made it less effective than it could have been. His style was to simply whack us when we got out of line. Along with it came a lot of anger and yelling, and the whole family got upset.
As was common when I was growing up, Dad approached discipline like he was taught in the military. His militaristic approach was not just with discipline but with parenting in general. He didn’t dare talk back to his drill sergeant, nor should we dare to talk back to him — or say anything. His drill sergeant hadn’t been concerned about his feelings, so why should he consider ours? He was a good man who worked hard to provide for his family. But his military training also shaped his style of parenting and discipline.
Today, parents are much more relational, and that’s mostly a good thing; however, when it comes to discipline, relational parenting can pose some obstacles if discipline is set aside. It’s hard to discipline someone who looks at you through tear-filled eyes and says, “I love you. How could you do this to me?” But for kids, if breaking a rule doesn’t have consequences that hurt worse than the pleasure they gained from it, they’ll likely continue that behavior.
Teens today both need and actually desire discipline (although most of them would rather die than admit it). Hebrews 12:11 says, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time but painful; later on however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” In other words, your kids will someday appreciate that you held the line, and more so if you did it in a way that maintained your relationship. And they’ll end up passing down to their kids (your grandkids) the right way to discipline. So, let me answer some basic questions about discipline and hopefully give you a better grasp on it, particularly when it comes to disciplining teens.
What is the purpose of discipline?
Discipline is helping your child get to a place where they want to be and keeping them from a place where they don’t want to end up. Sometimes we struggle with discipline because we lose sight of that underlying purpose. If your child understands that you are disciplining them for their own good, they will ultimately understand. They won’t like the consequences, and may get upset with you temporarily, but they will come to realize that they are bringing the consequences upon themselves, and that’s when their behavior changes.
I’m very upfront with the young people I work with at Heartlight about our rules and how things are going to be done. I know going in that most of these teens are not happy to be living with us in our residential program. So, from the very first day I strive to build a relationship—to let them know that everything that happens is for them, not for me. If I can convince them that the rules and punishments are in their best interests and for their own good, we’re a long way down the road to success. And to offset any thought that discipline is a quick and easy solution for us, our policy is that if the teen has to do extra chores or is grounded to the house, the staff are there right with them, shoulder to shoulder. It is as inconvenient and painful for us as it is for them. We use it as a time to build relationship, and we find that the kids often open up and deal with some issues in their life even as they are being disciplined.
Why do some parents punish in anger?
Kids want most of all to have a good relationship with their parents, so parents can get the wrong idea to use that as a means of punishment, but it is never advised. I’ve seen it firsthand when I was growing up. My father would correct us boys by blowing his top. Again, Dad was a good man, but his discipline in many ways was selfish. He felt better after exploding because he had a chance to get over his frustration, but because it was done in anger, it didn’t serve the purpose of helping me get to where I needed to go. It just taught me to avoid him and never get caught.
It is never effective to use negative emotions, to make idle threats, or to hold your relationship hostage as a means of changing your child’s behavior. I’ve learned it works best to try to do just the opposite with the teens I work with. I make light of their error and I use it as an opportunity to talk. It breaks the tension and they learn that their error doesn’t affect our relationship; but they also learn pretty quickly that I never back down on the consequences, no matter how much they bargain, shift blame or plead.
So, keep the anger out of your discipline. If you are harried or upset and cannot deal with a problem without anger at the moment, ask your spouse to deal with it; or tell your teen that you will talk about the consequences for their behavior at a later appointed time (then don’t forget to keep that appointment).
What do I do if I’m afraid to discipline my child?
This is really two different questions. First, if you’re afraid to discipline because you’re afraid of losing your relationship, let me encourage you—you won’t. Proper discipline won’t destroy a relationship, it will strengthen it. Here’s a piece of counsel I often give to parents: “They’ll get over it.” I’m not saying they will like the discipline process (nor should they), but they will not be driven away by it as long as it is fair, reasonable and expected.
On the other hand if you’re afraid to discipline because you’re afraid of your child or what they may do, I suggest you get outside help immediately. Do not allow your child to physically or emotionally intimidate or abuse you…ever. Backing down due to a teenager’s intimidation is teaching the exact wrong lesson, and it sets them up for failure in life and other relationships. If things get physical or threatening, something is seriously wrong. Sometimes it can be a sign that either drugs or alcohol is involved. If the threats take the form of a child claiming they’ll commit suicide, take it seriously and get them admitted to the hospital. If they threaten to run away, there’s ultimately not much you can do about that, so backing down will only cause them to use that as their intimidation again and again. A child should never be allowed to intimidate or threaten a parent.
How should I view pain in the context of discipline?
Pain is very difficult to experience, and it is also very difficult to impose on someone else. But pain plays a vital role in forcing someone to re-evaluate their conduct. As I’ve said, “Your child will continue on the path of inappropriate behavior until the pain of those actions is greater than the pain they get from them.” You have to attach consequences to that behavior so that they realize it isn’t the path to where they want to go. Of course I’m not talking about physical pain (not for teenagers), but there needs to be painful consequences tied to wrongful conduct, such as losing freedoms or privileges for a specified time, and adding chores.
What would other parents tell you about discipline, if they could do their parenting over?
Probably the number one error I hear from parents of teens who are spinning out of control is simply this: “I failed to follow through.” If you threaten consequences but don’t deliver, not only are you effectively lying to your child, but you are giving them the worst of both worlds. You may think you are building a relationship that way—to let them off the hook—but in reality you are tearing it down. They will lose respect for you, and they’ll fail to learn a critical lesson as well. In a world that has fewer borders than ever before, teens long for the stability and structure that enforced rules provide for their lives.
God has called us as parents to play a crucial role in the lives of our children. There are many wonderful and happy times in that process, and some difficult ones as well. If I could leave you with one last word of advice, I’d encourage you to view the discipline process as a vital investment rather than an unpleasant event to be avoided if possible. If done right and without anger, it can build relationship, not tear it down. Develop and communicate your rules and consequences so your teen knows what to expect, and then make them stick, without wavering. You—and your child—will be eternally glad you did.
We talked about this issue in-depth on our radio program last week called “Teens and Discipline.” To listen online, look for the program dated June 4, 2011 at http://www.parentingtodaysteens.org.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Mark Gregston is an author, speaker, radio host, and the founder and director of Heartlight, a therapeutic boarding school located in East Texas. Call 903-668-2173. Visit http://www.heartlightministries.org, or to read other articles by Mark, visit http://www.markgregston.com.
Now I’m not saying we didn’t deserve it…in fact we probably deserved more than we got. But while there was indeed discipline, the style of discipline that we received from our father made it less effective than it could have been. His style was to simply whack us when we got out of line. Along with it came a lot of anger and yelling, and the whole family got upset.
As was common when I was growing up, Dad approached discipline like he was taught in the military. His militaristic approach was not just with discipline but with parenting in general. He didn’t dare talk back to his drill sergeant, nor should we dare to talk back to him — or say anything. His drill sergeant hadn’t been concerned about his feelings, so why should he consider ours? He was a good man who worked hard to provide for his family. But his military training also shaped his style of parenting and discipline.
Today, parents are much more relational, and that’s mostly a good thing; however, when it comes to discipline, relational parenting can pose some obstacles if discipline is set aside. It’s hard to discipline someone who looks at you through tear-filled eyes and says, “I love you. How could you do this to me?” But for kids, if breaking a rule doesn’t have consequences that hurt worse than the pleasure they gained from it, they’ll likely continue that behavior.
Teens today both need and actually desire discipline (although most of them would rather die than admit it). Hebrews 12:11 says, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time but painful; later on however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” In other words, your kids will someday appreciate that you held the line, and more so if you did it in a way that maintained your relationship. And they’ll end up passing down to their kids (your grandkids) the right way to discipline. So, let me answer some basic questions about discipline and hopefully give you a better grasp on it, particularly when it comes to disciplining teens.
What is the purpose of discipline?
Discipline is helping your child get to a place where they want to be and keeping them from a place where they don’t want to end up. Sometimes we struggle with discipline because we lose sight of that underlying purpose. If your child understands that you are disciplining them for their own good, they will ultimately understand. They won’t like the consequences, and may get upset with you temporarily, but they will come to realize that they are bringing the consequences upon themselves, and that’s when their behavior changes.
I’m very upfront with the young people I work with at Heartlight about our rules and how things are going to be done. I know going in that most of these teens are not happy to be living with us in our residential program. So, from the very first day I strive to build a relationship—to let them know that everything that happens is for them, not for me. If I can convince them that the rules and punishments are in their best interests and for their own good, we’re a long way down the road to success. And to offset any thought that discipline is a quick and easy solution for us, our policy is that if the teen has to do extra chores or is grounded to the house, the staff are there right with them, shoulder to shoulder. It is as inconvenient and painful for us as it is for them. We use it as a time to build relationship, and we find that the kids often open up and deal with some issues in their life even as they are being disciplined.
Why do some parents punish in anger?
Kids want most of all to have a good relationship with their parents, so parents can get the wrong idea to use that as a means of punishment, but it is never advised. I’ve seen it firsthand when I was growing up. My father would correct us boys by blowing his top. Again, Dad was a good man, but his discipline in many ways was selfish. He felt better after exploding because he had a chance to get over his frustration, but because it was done in anger, it didn’t serve the purpose of helping me get to where I needed to go. It just taught me to avoid him and never get caught.
It is never effective to use negative emotions, to make idle threats, or to hold your relationship hostage as a means of changing your child’s behavior. I’ve learned it works best to try to do just the opposite with the teens I work with. I make light of their error and I use it as an opportunity to talk. It breaks the tension and they learn that their error doesn’t affect our relationship; but they also learn pretty quickly that I never back down on the consequences, no matter how much they bargain, shift blame or plead.
So, keep the anger out of your discipline. If you are harried or upset and cannot deal with a problem without anger at the moment, ask your spouse to deal with it; or tell your teen that you will talk about the consequences for their behavior at a later appointed time (then don’t forget to keep that appointment).
What do I do if I’m afraid to discipline my child?
This is really two different questions. First, if you’re afraid to discipline because you’re afraid of losing your relationship, let me encourage you—you won’t. Proper discipline won’t destroy a relationship, it will strengthen it. Here’s a piece of counsel I often give to parents: “They’ll get over it.” I’m not saying they will like the discipline process (nor should they), but they will not be driven away by it as long as it is fair, reasonable and expected.
On the other hand if you’re afraid to discipline because you’re afraid of your child or what they may do, I suggest you get outside help immediately. Do not allow your child to physically or emotionally intimidate or abuse you…ever. Backing down due to a teenager’s intimidation is teaching the exact wrong lesson, and it sets them up for failure in life and other relationships. If things get physical or threatening, something is seriously wrong. Sometimes it can be a sign that either drugs or alcohol is involved. If the threats take the form of a child claiming they’ll commit suicide, take it seriously and get them admitted to the hospital. If they threaten to run away, there’s ultimately not much you can do about that, so backing down will only cause them to use that as their intimidation again and again. A child should never be allowed to intimidate or threaten a parent.
How should I view pain in the context of discipline?
Pain is very difficult to experience, and it is also very difficult to impose on someone else. But pain plays a vital role in forcing someone to re-evaluate their conduct. As I’ve said, “Your child will continue on the path of inappropriate behavior until the pain of those actions is greater than the pain they get from them.” You have to attach consequences to that behavior so that they realize it isn’t the path to where they want to go. Of course I’m not talking about physical pain (not for teenagers), but there needs to be painful consequences tied to wrongful conduct, such as losing freedoms or privileges for a specified time, and adding chores.
What would other parents tell you about discipline, if they could do their parenting over?
Probably the number one error I hear from parents of teens who are spinning out of control is simply this: “I failed to follow through.” If you threaten consequences but don’t deliver, not only are you effectively lying to your child, but you are giving them the worst of both worlds. You may think you are building a relationship that way—to let them off the hook—but in reality you are tearing it down. They will lose respect for you, and they’ll fail to learn a critical lesson as well. In a world that has fewer borders than ever before, teens long for the stability and structure that enforced rules provide for their lives.
God has called us as parents to play a crucial role in the lives of our children. There are many wonderful and happy times in that process, and some difficult ones as well. If I could leave you with one last word of advice, I’d encourage you to view the discipline process as a vital investment rather than an unpleasant event to be avoided if possible. If done right and without anger, it can build relationship, not tear it down. Develop and communicate your rules and consequences so your teen knows what to expect, and then make them stick, without wavering. You—and your child—will be eternally glad you did.
We talked about this issue in-depth on our radio program last week called “Teens and Discipline.” To listen online, look for the program dated June 4, 2011 at http://www.parentingtodaysteens.org.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Mark Gregston is an author, speaker, radio host, and the founder and director of Heartlight, a therapeutic boarding school located in East Texas. Call 903-668-2173. Visit http://www.heartlightministries.org, or to read other articles by Mark, visit http://www.markgregston.com.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Help Kids Express Their Feelings Before and After Your Divorce
Help Kids Express Their Feelings Before and After Your Divorce
This is a valuable article for parents written by Len Stauffenger. While you may already be familiar with many of these strategies for promoting a Child-Centered Divorce, there may be a few you have not yet implemented. The age of your child and nature of your relationship with them will obviously dictate which approaches are best within your family. If you find yourself especially successful using any of these techniques, do contact me so I can share what you discovered with our other readers. Best wishes! Rosalind.
You've gotten a divorce. It might feel like the end of the world for you, but you do have all the years of your life where you learned a few coping skills to lean back on. Your children don't have those years of experience, and your divorce may be seen as one huge trauma by them. Life isn't as they have experienced it. One of their parents is gone from their daily life.
They will eventually learn to cope, and here are some tips for you to use immediately to help them get their feelings outside of their minds so the coping can begin.
1. Initiate Play With Them. Children love to play and in their games, they can be encouraged via your questions to tell you how they are feeling. Be considerate and accepting. Don't try to audit or correct their words. Just listen.
2. Do Artwork Together. If you provide your child with crayons, paper, paste and other materials, you can do an art project with the theme: Mommy and Daddy's Divorce and (child's name) Role in It. Ask gentle questions and listen up for their answers. Frequently their feeling is hiding behind their words.
3. Talk About It. This works best for older children. You can ask a very leading open-ended question - one that cannot be answered by Yes or No - and then let the child do the talking. You listen and ask more questions. Don't interject your opinion unless he asks a specific question only you can answer.
4. Read Books Together. Find books appropriate for your child's age about divorce and ask questions about his feelings as you read the book together.
5. Name Your Own Feelings. Your child might not know yet how to express the feeling that he is feeling about your divorce. You can share how it makes you feel and this way, he'll learn to identify his own feelings.
6. Good and Bad Ways To Deal With Feelings. Find family-type magazines and look through them together with your child to discuss the pictures that exemplify feelings. Point them out to him and ask if he's ever felt that way about your divorce.
7. Write A Story Together. Allow him to tell the story as he does for sharings at school. He dictates. You write, with mouth zipped. Just write. Later you can go back and ask questions about the feelings he talked about. You can ask where he felt the feeling in his body and how did it feel there?
8. Create a Puppet Show. You can each play a role, but let him choose which role he wants to play. That alone could tell you a lot. You be the other parent and ask questions about his feelings as you play.
9. Make A Scrapbook About the Divorce. This is a bit dramatic, but it just might be effective for some children. You can sit and watch as he does it, or you can just be in the same room for emotional support. When he's done, say "Tell me about your drawing." Ask feeling questions when he tells you about it.
10. Show Empathy for his plight. Children have lost a lot of control because their parents decided to divorce. You can tell him you realize he might not have made the same decision. If you offer him choices about daily doings once the divorce decision has been made, you can help him regain a sense of control.
11. Physical Activity. This is a great way to let kids run off pent up emotions. Physical activity will allow them to get rid of any tension they might be feeling and once that's let go of, they will be much better able to cope with the next thing that lands in their laps.
12. Provide Continuity. Divorce is an enormous change for a child and children don't like change. If you can keep his room the same; mealtime the same; household routine the same; homework time the same - whatever you can do to maintain continuity, it will help your child unfold his coping skills and handle his emotions so much better.
Your children come first and they are worth every effort you can make for their best regard. They will learn soon enough that your divorce is not the end of the world for them and that you've made every effort to provide the best for them.
* * *
In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares his simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce with his daughters and with you. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator and author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids ... about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! For free articles, her blog, valuable resources on child-centered divorce or to subscribe to her free ezine, go to: www.childcentereddivorce.com.
8095 Popash Court, Boynton Beach, FL 33437, USA
This is a valuable article for parents written by Len Stauffenger. While you may already be familiar with many of these strategies for promoting a Child-Centered Divorce, there may be a few you have not yet implemented. The age of your child and nature of your relationship with them will obviously dictate which approaches are best within your family. If you find yourself especially successful using any of these techniques, do contact me so I can share what you discovered with our other readers. Best wishes! Rosalind.
You've gotten a divorce. It might feel like the end of the world for you, but you do have all the years of your life where you learned a few coping skills to lean back on. Your children don't have those years of experience, and your divorce may be seen as one huge trauma by them. Life isn't as they have experienced it. One of their parents is gone from their daily life.
They will eventually learn to cope, and here are some tips for you to use immediately to help them get their feelings outside of their minds so the coping can begin.
1. Initiate Play With Them. Children love to play and in their games, they can be encouraged via your questions to tell you how they are feeling. Be considerate and accepting. Don't try to audit or correct their words. Just listen.
2. Do Artwork Together. If you provide your child with crayons, paper, paste and other materials, you can do an art project with the theme: Mommy and Daddy's Divorce and (child's name) Role in It. Ask gentle questions and listen up for their answers. Frequently their feeling is hiding behind their words.
3. Talk About It. This works best for older children. You can ask a very leading open-ended question - one that cannot be answered by Yes or No - and then let the child do the talking. You listen and ask more questions. Don't interject your opinion unless he asks a specific question only you can answer.
4. Read Books Together. Find books appropriate for your child's age about divorce and ask questions about his feelings as you read the book together.
5. Name Your Own Feelings. Your child might not know yet how to express the feeling that he is feeling about your divorce. You can share how it makes you feel and this way, he'll learn to identify his own feelings.
6. Good and Bad Ways To Deal With Feelings. Find family-type magazines and look through them together with your child to discuss the pictures that exemplify feelings. Point them out to him and ask if he's ever felt that way about your divorce.
7. Write A Story Together. Allow him to tell the story as he does for sharings at school. He dictates. You write, with mouth zipped. Just write. Later you can go back and ask questions about the feelings he talked about. You can ask where he felt the feeling in his body and how did it feel there?
8. Create a Puppet Show. You can each play a role, but let him choose which role he wants to play. That alone could tell you a lot. You be the other parent and ask questions about his feelings as you play.
9. Make A Scrapbook About the Divorce. This is a bit dramatic, but it just might be effective for some children. You can sit and watch as he does it, or you can just be in the same room for emotional support. When he's done, say "Tell me about your drawing." Ask feeling questions when he tells you about it.
10. Show Empathy for his plight. Children have lost a lot of control because their parents decided to divorce. You can tell him you realize he might not have made the same decision. If you offer him choices about daily doings once the divorce decision has been made, you can help him regain a sense of control.
11. Physical Activity. This is a great way to let kids run off pent up emotions. Physical activity will allow them to get rid of any tension they might be feeling and once that's let go of, they will be much better able to cope with the next thing that lands in their laps.
12. Provide Continuity. Divorce is an enormous change for a child and children don't like change. If you can keep his room the same; mealtime the same; household routine the same; homework time the same - whatever you can do to maintain continuity, it will help your child unfold his coping skills and handle his emotions so much better.
Your children come first and they are worth every effort you can make for their best regard. They will learn soon enough that your divorce is not the end of the world for them and that you've made every effort to provide the best for them.
* * *
In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares his simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce with his daughters and with you. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator and author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids ... about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! For free articles, her blog, valuable resources on child-centered divorce or to subscribe to her free ezine, go to: www.childcentereddivorce.com.
8095 Popash Court, Boynton Beach, FL 33437, USA
Monday, June 6, 2011
5th Natl Child-Centered Divorce Month recognized in July
The fifth annual recognition of National Child-Centered Divorce Month will take place in July throughout North America. The month is dedicated to alerting parents and the media about how we can minimize the negative effects of divorce on children.
Professionals who share these concerns, including therapists, attorneys, mediators, financial planners, coaches, educators, clergy and others will be joining forces to share their advice and insights The resounding message to divorcing parents is: Regardless of your own emotional state, it is essential to put your children's needs first when making decisions related to divorce or separation.
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce
Professionals who share these concerns, including therapists, attorneys, mediators, financial planners, coaches, educators, clergy and others will be joining forces to share their advice and insights The resounding message to divorcing parents is: Regardless of your own emotional state, it is essential to put your children's needs first when making decisions related to divorce or separation.
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce
Thursday, June 2, 2011
A Child's Perspective on Surviving their Parent's Divorce
A Child's Perspective on Surviving their Parent's Divorce
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
Max Sindell is a young man in his early twenties who has written a book for children titled, The Bright Side: Surviving Your Parents' Divorce. Sindell was six when his parents divorced.
Over the next many years he experienced a wide array of significant divorce issues that affect so many families. These include coping with his parents' arguments with and about one another, adjusting to travel between homes, remarriage, stepsiblings and juggling holidays and other special events. He wrote the book to help children identify their "voice" about all these issues. He also wants to show children ways to find the good that can come through and from divorce.
"The book is really supposed to be a quick handbook for making the most out of divorce and making it so that it's the least of your problems," Sindell says.
Sindell uses his own life lessons to walk children through the "downsides" of divorce, and focuses on ways to best handle them. In his chapter titled, "The Good News and the Bed News," he says "I'd honestly say that my parents' divorce is one of the best things to ever happen to me in my entire life: That's the good news." "On the other hand, divorce can make you wake up one morning realizing how much everything sucks," he also adds.
Other topics he discusses include: "You Are Never Going to Have One Home Again" and "Your Parents Are Going to Fight." But within each discussion he also provides positive observations, such as learning how to travel at a young age and developing more independence.
Within the book Sindell offers his personal Bill of Rights for divorced children. These are worth discussing with your children. It reminds them that they are not alone in what they are going through. And is empowers them to learn that they deserve and are entitled to "rights" as they move through and beyond the divorce. Let me share the first five with you, which Sindell says children should actually require to be part of their parents' divorce agreement.
THE DIVORCED KIDS' BILL OF RIGHTS
(Excerpt from The Bright Side: Surviving Your Parents' Divorce)
I. The Right to Be Safe and Feel Safe - A child should feel safe and secure. If there ever is a time you don't feel safe, tell your parents, and if you can't tell them, tell a counselor or tell a friend. This is your most important right.
II. The Right to Awareness - Every child has a right to know what is going on. Your parents should not lie to you or hide the truth from you about anything to do with you. While some things should remain private between your parents until you are older, if they're having a discussion about your schedule, you have the right to know and to make your voice heard.
III. The Right to Counseling - Divorce can make you feel like you don't have a say and don't make a difference, and that's exactly where a counselor comes in. A counselor should be someone whom you can talk to privately, without your parents there, and who can help you with your situation.
School counselors are not the only people you can talk to. Adult friends of the family who are unbiased, or the parents of good friends of yours, are also good people to talk to.
IV. The Right to Be Heard - Sometimes, when your parents are trying to sort out what they think is best for you, they can forget to listen to the most important person: You! If you can't get them to listen to you by yourself, it's important to have someone -- a counselor or a friend -- talk for you.
V. The Right to Be Your Own Person - Before your parents were divorced, there was you, your mom, your dad, and the other people in your family. The same is true now. Your parents have to respect your right to feel the way you feel. In dealing with stepparents, or the people your parents are dating, your rights stand. You must tell both your parents and their friends when any boundaries are crossed. If those boundaries are crossed in a major way, and you don't feel safe, tell a counselor.
Put yourself in your child's shoes and give these Rights some serious consideration before making any further decisions affecting your children. Talk to your children about what this means. It might open the door to some very meaningful conversations about topics you've never before discussed. Empowered children are happier children -- less resentful and less likely to act out to get your attention. Isn't that what you really want?
* * *
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator and author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids ... about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! For free articles, her blog, valuable resources on child-centered divorce or to subscribe to her free ezine, go to: www.childcentereddivorce.com.
© Rosalind Sedacca 2009. All rights reserved.
8095 Popash Court, Boynton Beach, FL 33437, USA
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
Max Sindell is a young man in his early twenties who has written a book for children titled, The Bright Side: Surviving Your Parents' Divorce. Sindell was six when his parents divorced.
Over the next many years he experienced a wide array of significant divorce issues that affect so many families. These include coping with his parents' arguments with and about one another, adjusting to travel between homes, remarriage, stepsiblings and juggling holidays and other special events. He wrote the book to help children identify their "voice" about all these issues. He also wants to show children ways to find the good that can come through and from divorce.
"The book is really supposed to be a quick handbook for making the most out of divorce and making it so that it's the least of your problems," Sindell says.
Sindell uses his own life lessons to walk children through the "downsides" of divorce, and focuses on ways to best handle them. In his chapter titled, "The Good News and the Bed News," he says "I'd honestly say that my parents' divorce is one of the best things to ever happen to me in my entire life: That's the good news." "On the other hand, divorce can make you wake up one morning realizing how much everything sucks," he also adds.
Other topics he discusses include: "You Are Never Going to Have One Home Again" and "Your Parents Are Going to Fight." But within each discussion he also provides positive observations, such as learning how to travel at a young age and developing more independence.
Within the book Sindell offers his personal Bill of Rights for divorced children. These are worth discussing with your children. It reminds them that they are not alone in what they are going through. And is empowers them to learn that they deserve and are entitled to "rights" as they move through and beyond the divorce. Let me share the first five with you, which Sindell says children should actually require to be part of their parents' divorce agreement.
THE DIVORCED KIDS' BILL OF RIGHTS
(Excerpt from The Bright Side: Surviving Your Parents' Divorce)
I. The Right to Be Safe and Feel Safe - A child should feel safe and secure. If there ever is a time you don't feel safe, tell your parents, and if you can't tell them, tell a counselor or tell a friend. This is your most important right.
II. The Right to Awareness - Every child has a right to know what is going on. Your parents should not lie to you or hide the truth from you about anything to do with you. While some things should remain private between your parents until you are older, if they're having a discussion about your schedule, you have the right to know and to make your voice heard.
III. The Right to Counseling - Divorce can make you feel like you don't have a say and don't make a difference, and that's exactly where a counselor comes in. A counselor should be someone whom you can talk to privately, without your parents there, and who can help you with your situation.
School counselors are not the only people you can talk to. Adult friends of the family who are unbiased, or the parents of good friends of yours, are also good people to talk to.
IV. The Right to Be Heard - Sometimes, when your parents are trying to sort out what they think is best for you, they can forget to listen to the most important person: You! If you can't get them to listen to you by yourself, it's important to have someone -- a counselor or a friend -- talk for you.
V. The Right to Be Your Own Person - Before your parents were divorced, there was you, your mom, your dad, and the other people in your family. The same is true now. Your parents have to respect your right to feel the way you feel. In dealing with stepparents, or the people your parents are dating, your rights stand. You must tell both your parents and their friends when any boundaries are crossed. If those boundaries are crossed in a major way, and you don't feel safe, tell a counselor.
Put yourself in your child's shoes and give these Rights some serious consideration before making any further decisions affecting your children. Talk to your children about what this means. It might open the door to some very meaningful conversations about topics you've never before discussed. Empowered children are happier children -- less resentful and less likely to act out to get your attention. Isn't that what you really want?
* * *
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator and author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids ... about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! For free articles, her blog, valuable resources on child-centered divorce or to subscribe to her free ezine, go to: www.childcentereddivorce.com.
© Rosalind Sedacca 2009. All rights reserved.
8095 Popash Court, Boynton Beach, FL 33437, USA
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
ChildSharing, Inc. is growing…additional location, new classes, and increase in sales.
ChildSharing Inc. is an online provider offering co-parenting classes, a host of resource tools for parents, and aid to family courts around the country in an effort to better equip families as they deal with issues related to raising children between multiple homes.
San Luis Obispo, CA – ChildSharing, Inc is growing in all aspects of business: expanding offices, adding new classes, and strengthening relationships with customers and counties thru their marketing programs. All of this growth and expansion has resulted in a 30% annual growth rate since inception. Michelle Muncy, Marketing Planner, believes the growth is a result of outstanding customer service and class offerings, “We read our survey results and constantly update our classes to reflect changes in the county family court system in regards to parenting and divorce which adds to our viability.” reflects Michelle Muncy, “Our classes are totally online, timed, and feature interactive programs (videos, quizzes, exams). We offer extended customer service, discounts and classes for free to indigent persons.
The office and staff has grown fourfold with locations in California, Colorado, a corporate office headquartered in Nevada, and now the new Atlanta, Georgia, office.“ChildSharing, Inc. is thrilled to be in Atlanta. With our growing success among counties across the United States, it was an easy decision to open up an office in the East Coast,” states Hector Libs, Director of Professional Services. “The expansion of our business will enable ChildSharing, Inc. to remain on the cutting edge of our industry delving into other market areas while maintaining our reputation for stellar customer service.”
The new programs are expanded six and eight hour versions of the original programs, “Parenting During Divorce-The Challenge of Change” and “Co-Parenting-Fundamentals of Raising Children Between Multiple Homes”. The programs includes videos, quizzes and life applications which serve as an alternative for parents who are mandated to take a parenting class to obtain a final decree or for those that are seeking to increase positive communication and parenting skills. The latest class added to this menagerie would be an anger management class, “Co-Parenting: Anger Management”. This brand new class deals with anger conflicts stemming from parenting issues. ChildSharing, Inc. offers all these classes in Spanish as well.
“Expanding these programs serves two main purposes,” explains Hector Libs, Director of Professional Services, “the expanded content delves deeper into crucial areas of parenting during divorce and co-parenting, and we are better able to serve the needs of our customers by allowing them to choose the program that best suits the court ordered requirements for the county they reside in.”
Founded in 2008, ChildSharing, Inc. is dedicated to advancing the field of child-sharing as a means of better educating families faced with raising children between two homes. Guided by a strong development team, ChildSharing, Inc. works with experts throughout the United States to provide its members with the most comprehensive information and resources for educating and raising children between multiple homes. For more information about ChildSharing, Inc and its team of experts, visit http://www.ChildSharing.com.
San Luis Obispo, CA – ChildSharing, Inc is growing in all aspects of business: expanding offices, adding new classes, and strengthening relationships with customers and counties thru their marketing programs. All of this growth and expansion has resulted in a 30% annual growth rate since inception. Michelle Muncy, Marketing Planner, believes the growth is a result of outstanding customer service and class offerings, “We read our survey results and constantly update our classes to reflect changes in the county family court system in regards to parenting and divorce which adds to our viability.” reflects Michelle Muncy, “Our classes are totally online, timed, and feature interactive programs (videos, quizzes, exams). We offer extended customer service, discounts and classes for free to indigent persons.
The office and staff has grown fourfold with locations in California, Colorado, a corporate office headquartered in Nevada, and now the new Atlanta, Georgia, office.“ChildSharing, Inc. is thrilled to be in Atlanta. With our growing success among counties across the United States, it was an easy decision to open up an office in the East Coast,” states Hector Libs, Director of Professional Services. “The expansion of our business will enable ChildSharing, Inc. to remain on the cutting edge of our industry delving into other market areas while maintaining our reputation for stellar customer service.”
The new programs are expanded six and eight hour versions of the original programs, “Parenting During Divorce-The Challenge of Change” and “Co-Parenting-Fundamentals of Raising Children Between Multiple Homes”. The programs includes videos, quizzes and life applications which serve as an alternative for parents who are mandated to take a parenting class to obtain a final decree or for those that are seeking to increase positive communication and parenting skills. The latest class added to this menagerie would be an anger management class, “Co-Parenting: Anger Management”. This brand new class deals with anger conflicts stemming from parenting issues. ChildSharing, Inc. offers all these classes in Spanish as well.
“Expanding these programs serves two main purposes,” explains Hector Libs, Director of Professional Services, “the expanded content delves deeper into crucial areas of parenting during divorce and co-parenting, and we are better able to serve the needs of our customers by allowing them to choose the program that best suits the court ordered requirements for the county they reside in.”
Founded in 2008, ChildSharing, Inc. is dedicated to advancing the field of child-sharing as a means of better educating families faced with raising children between two homes. Guided by a strong development team, ChildSharing, Inc. works with experts throughout the United States to provide its members with the most comprehensive information and resources for educating and raising children between multiple homes. For more information about ChildSharing, Inc and its team of experts, visit http://www.ChildSharing.com.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
