When a teenager breaks the rules

When a teenager breaks the rules, they need to think of it as their own decision to also accept the consequences.

Unlike younger children, teenagers can reason, so consequences become the result of their decision to do wrong, not what the parent “does” to punish them.

For instance, coming home after curfew means they are choosing not to be trusted with a later curfew, so the parent’s role is to make that uncomfortable through removing that privilege for a time. If they again break it, then they’ll automatically lose a more significant privilege, like the use of the car.

The sooner they realize that they are bringing upon themselves their own consequences, the sooner they’ll begin making better decisions.

©2010 Mark Gregston



Michelle Muncy

Marketing Planner

ChildSharing, Inc.

805.550.3663

Privileges

Privileges like cell phones, allowances and the use of a family car are just that – privileges – but teens sometimes need to be reminded of that.

Outside of education, clothing, food and protection, everything else given your teen is a privilege. When a self-centered teenager forgets that, and wreaks havoc in the family, a parent needs to remind them that along with privileges come responsibilities, like helping around the house, being respectful to each other, and following the family rules.

I’m thankful in a way that kids have so many privileges today. Because it gives parents plenty of things to put on the shelf for a time to show their teenager that privileges can be lost through irresponsibility.

from "Parenting Today's Teens Radio"





Michelle Muncy

Marketing Planner

ChildSharing, Inc.

805.550.3663

Being inconsistent with your rules and boundaries

Nothing can make your home more of a battle zone than being inconsistent with your rules and boundaries.

Have you ever walked through a forest and had the person in front of you let go of a branch, allowing it to whip across your face? That hurts! And that’s kind of what parenting is like when you’re inconsistent with the rules. Every time your teen wants more freedom they slap you with another verbal tirade, because they’ve learned that’s what will change your mind.

Rules should be age-appropriate and periodically reviewed, but never changed to silence an angry teen. That only leads to insecurity in the teen and more arguing and disrespect in the future.

from "Parenting Today's Teens Radio"



Michelle Muncy

Marketing Planner

ChildSharing, Inc.

805.550.3663