Nothing touches the heart more deeply than hearing, "I love you Daddy." I have heard that the gift
of happiness belongs to those who unwrap it. Your children are that gift. Be an active,
participating dad. The years fly by too quickly to do otherwise.
1. Cease "put downs" directed toward the child/children and other people living in the
home.
2. Never compare one sibling to another
3. Give as many hugs as possible, especially at the beginning and end of each day.
4. When disciplining, be calm, clear, firm, fast and fair.
5. Listen to the meaning behind the words your children say. What do they feel?
6. Teach that every behavior has consequences, both good and bad.
7. Encourage strength, positivity, helpfulness, humor and compassion by role modeling.
8. Encourage open communication, humor and actively listen.
9. Make time to say, "I love you."
10. Be there to share quality time with your child/children.
LEN BRASS IS THE AUTHOR OF CHILDREN FIRST: A COMPLETE GUIDE FOR PARENTING THROUGH THE
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL YEARS. LEN IS A SAN JUAN CAPISTRANO, CALIFORNIA RESIDENT, A 26-YEAR SCHOOL
EDUCATOR AS WELL AS A LECTURER, BUSINESS MEDIATOR, AND FATHER OF FIVE.
www.ChildSharing.com: 39.99 Online Co-Parenting Classes
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
High School Students Pitch to Strengthen Marriages and Families
High School Students Pitch to Strengthen Marriages and Families Takes Top Award at 2009 DECA International Competition
The top award at the 2009 annual DECA conference in Anaheim went to an internet business plan for strengthening marriages and families. Nearly 15,000 teenagers representing 185,000 of their peers in over 4,500 chapters across the US, Canada, Germany, Mexico, Guam and Puerto Rico gathered several blocks from Disney Land recently to pitch the next big idea in a fiercely competitive contest for the best internet marketing plan. A three-member team from Cypress Bay High School in Weston, Florida brought home their school's first top international award with a pitch to harness the power of the Internet to teach relationship skills that strengthen marriages and families.
Anaheim, CA (PRWEB) May 15, 2009 -- The top award at this year's annual DECA meeting in Anaheim went to an internet business plan for strengthening marriages and families. Nearly 15,000 teenagers representing over 185,000 of their peers in 5,000 chapters across the US, Canada, Germany, Mexico and Puerto Rico gathered just blocks from Disney Land recently to pitch the next big idea in a fiercely competitive contest for the best internet marketing plan. A three-member team from Cypress Bay High School in Weston, Florida brought home their school's first top international award with a pitch to harness the power of the Internet to teach relationship skills that strengthen marriages and families.
Cypress Bay seniors Stephanie Castano, Ale Azor and junior Michael Eisenberg spent nearly eight months developing their plan to bring relationship skills training classes to the Internet.
"We wanted to create a business plan that would make a difference for people all over the world," Michael Eisenberg, 17, said. "Our research showed that when people learn relationship skills, they have happier, more successful lives. They do better in school, with their friends, at home, and one day with their own families. Our plan is to bring these skills to millions of people through the power of the Internet," Eisenberg said. His hope, he added, is that "stronger, healthier, more loving relationships would lead to fewer divorces and reduce many of the things that are more likely when families break-up, like drug and alcohol addictions, teen pregnancies, dropping out of school, homelessness, and poverty."
Stephanie Castano, 18, said she was sold on a plan for relationship skills classes after attending a PAIRS (PAIRS Online) marriage education program at a local YMCA in Fort Lauderdale. "I saw couples who came to class looking so unhappy and distant. By the end of the class, they were in love again," she said. "I've seen the impact on so many of my friends and peers of their families breaking up," she said. "I realized from the class that many of these marriages that are ending in divorce could be saved through relationship skills training. We thought that if we could bring this concept to the Internet, it would make it possible for everyone, everywhere to benefit."
"When marriages and families are strong," Castano said, "everything goes better."
"It's so hard for students to concentrate at school and do well academically when there's instability, unhappiness, and turmoil at home," she added. "I can't think of many better ways of helping my peers become more successful and happy then helping their parents get it together," she said. "The skills also help kids talk to their parents and have better relationships with their siblings, friends, teachers and others," Castano said. "It's great for any human relationship."
Two of the three team members are themselves children of divorce. One commented that if their parents could have attended a relationship skills class like PAIRS before they broke up, their lives might have been different.
"Helping people learn to communicate, fight fair, express their emotions, and deal with their problems takes skill," Ale Azor, 18, said. "I saw firsthand in the PAIRS classes that these skills are easy to learn if two people are open to learning and want their relationship to succeed," she said. "The idea of bringing this to the Internet," Azor added, "is because some people may be shy about attending a class about relationships, others are so busy they can't get to a class, and many people live in places where classes aren't offered. The Internet makes it possible for anyone to participate."
Azor said she was surprised to learn how inexpensive it is for couples to learn relationship skills. "It's really something anyone can afford, especially over the Internet," Azor said. "And when you compare it to the cost of breaking up, especially the impact on kids, the cost is inconsequential," she added.
Michael Eisenberg said his team spent eight months researching and developing their plan. "We attended PAIRS classes and also went to see some of the competitors," he said. "Then we interviewed participants from the classes and others who did not attend. We realized that with the right marketing plan and the power of the Internet, our idea could really change the world," he said. "We want relationship skills classes to be as normal as drivers education," he added. "Just like you have to learn to drive a car or learn skills to be successful in sports or your career, successful, lasting relationships take learning specific skills too. We want everyone to have these skills."
The trio's business plan got the attention of executives at the PAIRS Foundation early on. Diana Ossa, PAIRS Foundation's National Project Coordinator, said the company has already begun implementing the award winning plan. "From the beginning, we saw these teenagers brought powerful, fresh ideas to the table in a plan that was creative, affordable, and well conceived," Ossa said.
"We began testing their ideas several months ago and have already begun delivering PAIRS classes over the Internet based on their plan," she said. "We've had people from across the United States, Europe, South America, Asia, and as far away as the Middle East participate in online classes in recent months based on the plan these youngsters brought to us," she said.
"The students helped so many people realize that the foundation of everything is relationships," Ossa said. "Reading, writing and arithmetic won't get anyone very far anymore without a foundation of healthy relationships. I hope their plan will help us bring relationship education to many who wouldn't have otherwise benefited," she said. "All around the world," she added, "people's hearts are in the same place. This plan will help us touch many hearts and help many children and their parents have better lives." she said. "We're so proud and happy they won!"
DECA is the Delta Epsilon Chi international association of high school and college students studying marketing, management and entrepreneurship in business, finance, hospitality and marketing sales and service. DECA chapters operate in over 4,500 high schools and 200 colleges across the U.S., Puerto Rico, Guam, Canada, and Germany. Delta Epsilon Chi/DECA
PAIRS Foundation is a 501(c)(3) non-profit established by Drs. Lori and Morris Gordon in 1983 to develop and deliver relationship skills training programs. The organization has over 2,000 facilitators worldwide and serves tens of thousands of teenagers and adults in all stages of relationship. PAIRS Foundation.
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The top award at the 2009 annual DECA conference in Anaheim went to an internet business plan for strengthening marriages and families. Nearly 15,000 teenagers representing 185,000 of their peers in over 4,500 chapters across the US, Canada, Germany, Mexico, Guam and Puerto Rico gathered several blocks from Disney Land recently to pitch the next big idea in a fiercely competitive contest for the best internet marketing plan. A three-member team from Cypress Bay High School in Weston, Florida brought home their school's first top international award with a pitch to harness the power of the Internet to teach relationship skills that strengthen marriages and families.
Anaheim, CA (PRWEB) May 15, 2009 -- The top award at this year's annual DECA meeting in Anaheim went to an internet business plan for strengthening marriages and families. Nearly 15,000 teenagers representing over 185,000 of their peers in 5,000 chapters across the US, Canada, Germany, Mexico and Puerto Rico gathered just blocks from Disney Land recently to pitch the next big idea in a fiercely competitive contest for the best internet marketing plan. A three-member team from Cypress Bay High School in Weston, Florida brought home their school's first top international award with a pitch to harness the power of the Internet to teach relationship skills that strengthen marriages and families.
Cypress Bay seniors Stephanie Castano, Ale Azor and junior Michael Eisenberg spent nearly eight months developing their plan to bring relationship skills training classes to the Internet.
"We wanted to create a business plan that would make a difference for people all over the world," Michael Eisenberg, 17, said. "Our research showed that when people learn relationship skills, they have happier, more successful lives. They do better in school, with their friends, at home, and one day with their own families. Our plan is to bring these skills to millions of people through the power of the Internet," Eisenberg said. His hope, he added, is that "stronger, healthier, more loving relationships would lead to fewer divorces and reduce many of the things that are more likely when families break-up, like drug and alcohol addictions, teen pregnancies, dropping out of school, homelessness, and poverty."
Stephanie Castano, 18, said she was sold on a plan for relationship skills classes after attending a PAIRS (PAIRS Online) marriage education program at a local YMCA in Fort Lauderdale. "I saw couples who came to class looking so unhappy and distant. By the end of the class, they were in love again," she said. "I've seen the impact on so many of my friends and peers of their families breaking up," she said. "I realized from the class that many of these marriages that are ending in divorce could be saved through relationship skills training. We thought that if we could bring this concept to the Internet, it would make it possible for everyone, everywhere to benefit."
"When marriages and families are strong," Castano said, "everything goes better."
"It's so hard for students to concentrate at school and do well academically when there's instability, unhappiness, and turmoil at home," she added. "I can't think of many better ways of helping my peers become more successful and happy then helping their parents get it together," she said. "The skills also help kids talk to their parents and have better relationships with their siblings, friends, teachers and others," Castano said. "It's great for any human relationship."
Two of the three team members are themselves children of divorce. One commented that if their parents could have attended a relationship skills class like PAIRS before they broke up, their lives might have been different.
"Helping people learn to communicate, fight fair, express their emotions, and deal with their problems takes skill," Ale Azor, 18, said. "I saw firsthand in the PAIRS classes that these skills are easy to learn if two people are open to learning and want their relationship to succeed," she said. "The idea of bringing this to the Internet," Azor added, "is because some people may be shy about attending a class about relationships, others are so busy they can't get to a class, and many people live in places where classes aren't offered. The Internet makes it possible for anyone to participate."
Azor said she was surprised to learn how inexpensive it is for couples to learn relationship skills. "It's really something anyone can afford, especially over the Internet," Azor said. "And when you compare it to the cost of breaking up, especially the impact on kids, the cost is inconsequential," she added.
Michael Eisenberg said his team spent eight months researching and developing their plan. "We attended PAIRS classes and also went to see some of the competitors," he said. "Then we interviewed participants from the classes and others who did not attend. We realized that with the right marketing plan and the power of the Internet, our idea could really change the world," he said. "We want relationship skills classes to be as normal as drivers education," he added. "Just like you have to learn to drive a car or learn skills to be successful in sports or your career, successful, lasting relationships take learning specific skills too. We want everyone to have these skills."
The trio's business plan got the attention of executives at the PAIRS Foundation early on. Diana Ossa, PAIRS Foundation's National Project Coordinator, said the company has already begun implementing the award winning plan. "From the beginning, we saw these teenagers brought powerful, fresh ideas to the table in a plan that was creative, affordable, and well conceived," Ossa said.
"We began testing their ideas several months ago and have already begun delivering PAIRS classes over the Internet based on their plan," she said. "We've had people from across the United States, Europe, South America, Asia, and as far away as the Middle East participate in online classes in recent months based on the plan these youngsters brought to us," she said.
"The students helped so many people realize that the foundation of everything is relationships," Ossa said. "Reading, writing and arithmetic won't get anyone very far anymore without a foundation of healthy relationships. I hope their plan will help us bring relationship education to many who wouldn't have otherwise benefited," she said. "All around the world," she added, "people's hearts are in the same place. This plan will help us touch many hearts and help many children and their parents have better lives." she said. "We're so proud and happy they won!"
DECA is the Delta Epsilon Chi international association of high school and college students studying marketing, management and entrepreneurship in business, finance, hospitality and marketing sales and service. DECA chapters operate in over 4,500 high schools and 200 colleges across the U.S., Puerto Rico, Guam, Canada, and Germany. Delta Epsilon Chi/DECA
PAIRS Foundation is a 501(c)(3) non-profit established by Drs. Lori and Morris Gordon in 1983 to develop and deliver relationship skills training programs. The organization has over 2,000 facilitators worldwide and serves tens of thousands of teenagers and adults in all stages of relationship. PAIRS Foundation.
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Friday, May 1, 2009
Secrets of A Happy Marriage
No one can truly know what goes on inside a marriage except the two people involved, but researchers are getting increasingly good glimpses at what makes couples tick, how relationships are stressed and what factors can keep the spark alive.
The goal: To find out what keeps love alive and couples together.
Putting marriage under a microscope has resulted in new long-term studies that are showing better than ever how a birth or simple boredom can drain a union.
More surprisingly, old photographs might help predict your chances of getting a divorce, new research suggests.
All of the findings can help couples learn lessons about their relationships and their spouses, said Nadine Kaslow, a professor at Emory University School of Medicine who specializes in couples and families and also serves as chief psychologist at Grady Health System in Atlanta, Georgia.
To have children or not?
Movies often portray the birth of a child as a joyous event that solidifies a couple’s union, but the arrival of the first baby puts a sudden, important strain on a marriage, according to a study published recently in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Researchers followed more than 200 couples for eight years after their wedding — the longest study yet looking at the impact of a child on marriage.
About 90 percent of mothers and fathers saw at least some decreases in relationship satisfaction after they became parents, said Brian Doss, assistant psychology professor at Texas A&M University and one of the authors of the study.
Spouses who were the most romantic before the birth of their child found the transition to parenthood the most difficult.
“Couples who were really enjoying a lot of the quality time they were spending before birth had a lot more to lose,” Doss said.
“Whereas couples who just naturally over time had adopted more of a friendship relationship, kind of a co-partner relationship, perhaps didn’t miss or didn’t notice the loss of that connection as much.”
Staying childless wasn’t the secret to marital bliss, however. Couples in the study who didn’t have children still became less happy with their marriage, just much more gradually than those who had children.
Couples considering starting a family may find the results alarming, but psychologists say they serve as a reminder that a relationship needs to be nurtured.
“People tend to be less dedicated to their relationship and not prioritize being with each other,” Kaslow said. “This deterioration seems to be pretty sudden right after the birth, so that’s a particularly crucial time to be mindful of it.”
Simple steps can go a long way to keeping a relationship strong. Couples can start by setting aside some private time every day, even if it’s just 15 minutes, and scheduling a weekly date, Kaslow advised.
How to fight boredom
Most people think that problems and tension spell trouble in a marriage, but a new study has found boredom is also a powerful force in eroding marital bliss.
Couples who reported being in a rut seven years into their marriage were significantly less satisfied with their relationship when researchers checked back with them nine years later, according to a study to be published next month in Psychological Science.
“For boredom to have such long-term implications I think is very significant,” said co-author Terri Orbuch, a research professor at the University of Michigan and a professor of sociology at Oakland University.
But closeness over time can eliminate that effect, the study also found.
How can couples get close if they’re feeling bored? Sharing novel activities with each other — like taking a cooking class or learning to ski — is the key, said Orbuch, who has been following a group of married couples for 22 years and is writing a book about their marriage strategies.
Some boredom is inevitable in a marriage, but it is absolutely possible for a couple to reignite a relationship, Kaslow agreed.
Her parents have just started taking classes about opera together and have assembled a “bucket list” of all the places in the world they still haven’t been to that they would like to visit.
“They want to do more exciting things even at their age to nurture the relationship. I think that’s what healthy long-term relationships do,” Kaslow said.
What do photos reveal?
Surprisingly, a possible clue about whether you stay married or get divorced may be contained in your photo album.
Researchers analyzed photos taken in childhood or young adulthood from hundreds of people and rated their expressions on a “smile intensity score.”
The less intensely the subjects smiled, the more likely they would be divorced later in life, while the biggest smilers had lower divorce rates, according to a study published online this month by the journal Motivation and Emotion.
Scientists don’t know what accounts for the link, but say a smile may indicate higher levels of positive emotions and signal other traits, said co-author 3272907020_b76671862a
“People who smile a lot may attract happier people and maybe happier marriage partners,” Hertenstein said. “It may be that people who smile in response to a photographer are more obedient people and obedience may help in a marriage. I really don’t know the explanation.”
Before you run to check your spouse’s yearbook photo, keep in mind one picture can’t tell the whole story, Kaslow said.
“I think the issue really is both getting a sense of a whole set of pictures and also the level of positivity that [people] bring into life and relationships,” she said. Article by A. Pawlowski for CNN.com.
Please share your thoughts below. Do you have a happy marriage and what makes it a happy marriage?
ChildSharing.com Online Parenting Classes 39.99
The goal: To find out what keeps love alive and couples together.
Putting marriage under a microscope has resulted in new long-term studies that are showing better than ever how a birth or simple boredom can drain a union.
More surprisingly, old photographs might help predict your chances of getting a divorce, new research suggests.
All of the findings can help couples learn lessons about their relationships and their spouses, said Nadine Kaslow, a professor at Emory University School of Medicine who specializes in couples and families and also serves as chief psychologist at Grady Health System in Atlanta, Georgia.
To have children or not?
Movies often portray the birth of a child as a joyous event that solidifies a couple’s union, but the arrival of the first baby puts a sudden, important strain on a marriage, according to a study published recently in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Researchers followed more than 200 couples for eight years after their wedding — the longest study yet looking at the impact of a child on marriage.
About 90 percent of mothers and fathers saw at least some decreases in relationship satisfaction after they became parents, said Brian Doss, assistant psychology professor at Texas A&M University and one of the authors of the study.
Spouses who were the most romantic before the birth of their child found the transition to parenthood the most difficult.
“Couples who were really enjoying a lot of the quality time they were spending before birth had a lot more to lose,” Doss said.
“Whereas couples who just naturally over time had adopted more of a friendship relationship, kind of a co-partner relationship, perhaps didn’t miss or didn’t notice the loss of that connection as much.”
Staying childless wasn’t the secret to marital bliss, however. Couples in the study who didn’t have children still became less happy with their marriage, just much more gradually than those who had children.
Couples considering starting a family may find the results alarming, but psychologists say they serve as a reminder that a relationship needs to be nurtured.
“People tend to be less dedicated to their relationship and not prioritize being with each other,” Kaslow said. “This deterioration seems to be pretty sudden right after the birth, so that’s a particularly crucial time to be mindful of it.”
Simple steps can go a long way to keeping a relationship strong. Couples can start by setting aside some private time every day, even if it’s just 15 minutes, and scheduling a weekly date, Kaslow advised.
How to fight boredom
Most people think that problems and tension spell trouble in a marriage, but a new study has found boredom is also a powerful force in eroding marital bliss.
Couples who reported being in a rut seven years into their marriage were significantly less satisfied with their relationship when researchers checked back with them nine years later, according to a study to be published next month in Psychological Science.
“For boredom to have such long-term implications I think is very significant,” said co-author Terri Orbuch, a research professor at the University of Michigan and a professor of sociology at Oakland University.
But closeness over time can eliminate that effect, the study also found.
How can couples get close if they’re feeling bored? Sharing novel activities with each other — like taking a cooking class or learning to ski — is the key, said Orbuch, who has been following a group of married couples for 22 years and is writing a book about their marriage strategies.
Some boredom is inevitable in a marriage, but it is absolutely possible for a couple to reignite a relationship, Kaslow agreed.
Her parents have just started taking classes about opera together and have assembled a “bucket list” of all the places in the world they still haven’t been to that they would like to visit.
“They want to do more exciting things even at their age to nurture the relationship. I think that’s what healthy long-term relationships do,” Kaslow said.
What do photos reveal?
Surprisingly, a possible clue about whether you stay married or get divorced may be contained in your photo album.
Researchers analyzed photos taken in childhood or young adulthood from hundreds of people and rated their expressions on a “smile intensity score.”
The less intensely the subjects smiled, the more likely they would be divorced later in life, while the biggest smilers had lower divorce rates, according to a study published online this month by the journal Motivation and Emotion.
Scientists don’t know what accounts for the link, but say a smile may indicate higher levels of positive emotions and signal other traits, said co-author 3272907020_b76671862a
“People who smile a lot may attract happier people and maybe happier marriage partners,” Hertenstein said. “It may be that people who smile in response to a photographer are more obedient people and obedience may help in a marriage. I really don’t know the explanation.”
Before you run to check your spouse’s yearbook photo, keep in mind one picture can’t tell the whole story, Kaslow said.
“I think the issue really is both getting a sense of a whole set of pictures and also the level of positivity that [people] bring into life and relationships,” she said. Article by A. Pawlowski for CNN.com.
Please share your thoughts below. Do you have a happy marriage and what makes it a happy marriage?
ChildSharing.com Online Parenting Classes 39.99
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