When your thought patterns rub up against those of your teenager, you can either take it personally and get upset yourself, or you can use it as an opportunity to help bring healing and a new perspective to your child.
Teens get angry for a number of reasons; from fear, feelings of injustice, insecurity, loneliness, overactive hormones, lack of sleep, peer bullying, a growing need for independence and just trying to make sense out of life. Parents get angry when their teens behave in ways that aren’t appropriate or if they feel their children aren’t showing them proper respect. If parents don’t understand that their teenager’s anger may be about something totally separate from them, they might go about lighting the fuse in the dynamite by reacting too harshly. So, guess which party needs to “man up” and defuse the situation?
You don’t have to throw up your hands in resignation and despair if you’re dealing with an angry child. I want to share with you four powerful techniques you can use to defuse anger—practical steps that actually work in the real world.
1) Be a Model. Many times in the heat of anger a person realizes they’re going too far, but they don’t know how to back off and cool down. It’s an important ability for either party, but it is learned by the parent modeling it to their children. For instance, when I’m talking to a child who is angry, I look for a way to identify with him. If he accuses me of not understanding, I say something like, “You’re right. I didn’t listen well enough. I was wrong. Tell me again.” What I’m trying to show them is what it looks like to cool down, step back, and say, “I was wrong.”
One of the most important things to remember is that feelings aren’t something you can control or necessarily reason with. You can’t argue them away, even if you are completely right. In fact, the more right you are about the other person being wrong, the more angry they will get. If a pot is boiling over on the stove, telling it to cool off doesn’t help. You have to turn down the heat and let it cool.
The “stand your ground” drill sergeant approach of “yelling and telling” doesn’t work. That just models shouting and will turn your home into an unending scream fest as your teenagers gain the confidence to respond in kind. Correcting an angry teen with equal or greater anger is like throwing gasoline on a raging fire. Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath.” Instead, remain calm. Spend time listening and trying to get an idea of what they really want. Remember that anger is a symptom—so don’t try to beat it, treat it or cover it up. Find the disease—the disappointment that is driving the anger, and focus on dealing with that.
2) Make Your Home a Respite. Kids enter a jungle when they walk out the front door. School has always been a tough place. My nicknames in high school were “eagle beak” and “chicken legs.” Today the bullying is far worse, in and out of school through online chat rooms, cell phone texting, and social networks like Facebook and Twitter, where insults can reach the teen (and the world) wherever they are.
So, in our homes we can show our teens that even if they’re upset with us, or the whole world seems to be upset with them, we still love them and accept them unconditionally. When we’ve seemingly become the focus of their anger, it can really cut against our grain personally, but we need to wear our parent hats and avoid being defensive. In fact, don’t even try to quash their anger. If you do, they may well try to seek other ways to deal with their frustration, like drinking or taking drugs to cover up having to think about it. Rather, having a safe place to “blow off steam” and talk about it allows them to process what they’re feeling. After all, they probably aren’t even angry at you, they’re just taking it out on you because you are a convenient target.
This is the heart of the reason why conflict provides the opportunity to strengthen and deepen the relationship. If it is handled correctly, with caring and without defensiveness, it gives us opportunity to talk and to lift them up — to be on their side. We can also share the inappropriateness of shifting their anger to attacking the ones they love. And each time they are upset, they’ll be less explosive because they’ll know they can safely come to us to talk about it.
3) Get Closer/Lower. When I’m dealing with an angry teenager, I don’t walk away. I get closer to them and I intentionally position myself below them. If they’re standing, I sit. If they’re sitting in a chair, I sit on the floor. It’s a way to signal that I’m not going to force my opinion on them. I’m telling them without saying a word that I want there to be a two-way conversation about what is bothering them. It’s a way of lowering the temperature, and encouraging them to talk.
Because of the difference between the boys and girls communicate, I’ll often take a guy for a ride in the car to have a longer talk after things have cooled down. If they’re not facing me, it can be easier for them to open up about what is behind the anger they’re expressing. Or, do something physical, like fishing, playing basketball, or jogging. If you have a daughter that’s upset, that talk may go better on a walk, a visit to the mall, or at a coffee shop. In any case, find ways to get them to converse with you.
Remember that we’re not trying to squelch the anger and make it go away; we’re trying to get at the root cause and allow them to release some of their steam. There are many legitimate causes for anger. The Bible says, “Be angry, but don’t sin.” (Ephesians 4:26) But when anger brings the teen to a point that they are spinning out of control, it can be because their relationship with the parents isn’t such that they feel they can share their frustrations. Who else can they talk to?
4) Plan Ahead. If you know there is something bothering your teen, prepare yourself before you talk to them. Think about your objectives for the conversation, and how you will go about accomplishing them. Think about what you will say and how you will act if they attack you for not caring or understanding, or for letting them down. Think about what you can do to help them channel their angry energy into non-destructive outlets. Especially think about what could go wrong during the conversation. Spending some time like this ahead of the conversation will pay enormous benefits.
Dee-Dee Meyer points out the importance of positive feedback to healthy ego development for your teen. She says, “For every negative thing I say, I try to say two positive things.” So, in preparation for your talk, plan what positive things you will say. Put yourself in their place. Remember how important “little” things were to you when you were a teenager. Try to empathize with their emotions, even if they are unrealistic and immature. You’re helping them grow and develop by helping them respond properly to what is making them angry.
Finally, prepare an exit strategy for what you will do if things start to get out of hand. Though the issue does need to be resolved, often taking a break for everyone to cool off is the best step. You can say something like, “I want to think about what you said, and you can think about what I said. Then we’ll get back together and talk.” This doesn’t place blame or shame them; it puts you both on the same level and allows the conversation to continue when things calm down.
A Real Life Example
One of the young men we’re working with at Heartlight is here primarily because of anger. He was getting into a lot of fights and arguments with his parents. He told me, “There was a lot of conflict, especially with my dad. We both had a hard time admitting we were wrong. We went to a lot of counseling sessions but things weren’t getting any better. Eventually we stopped talking.” And then he stopped doing his schoolwork because his dad was really focused on his grades. “I did it to annoy Dad,” he said.
When he expressed his anger, he was punished, and that just frustrated him more, so it was a vicious cycle. Things finally got so bad that the counselor suggested his parents send him to Heartlight. In six months with us, he’s been learning to manage and control his anger. He’s learned the importance of blowing off steam appropriately. He gets his stress worked out by exercising. “After doing that for while, it’s easier for me to talk calmly,” he said.
Remember, conflict is a precursor to change. Look beyond their anger to what may be causing it. Never allow their anger to force you to reduce consequences, nor allow it to turn violent, disrespectful or threatening. If it does, it will only get worse, so get the help of another adult, a counselor or the authorities if needed. Hopefully you’ll get it under control before it gets so far out of hand by making an intentional effort to help your teen talk about and get beyond what is upsetting them.
We talked about this issue in-depth on our radio program last weekend titled “Defusing Teen Anger.” Listen online here (or look for the program dated March 23, 2011 at http://www.parentingtodaysteens.org).
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Mark Gregston is an author, speaker, radio host, and the founder and director of Heartlight, a therapeutic boarding school located in East Texas. Call 903-668-2173. Visit http://www.heartlightministries.org, or to read other articles by Mark, visit http://www.markgregston.com.
Showing posts with label Teens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Teens. Show all posts
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Monday, January 25, 2010
TEEN FREEDOM, SOONER
Mark Gregston
To show your teenager you’re really on their side, begin talking about ways to give them more freedoms.
Periodically talk to your teen about ways for them to gain more freedom and independence, right along with more responsibilities. They’ll welcome the challenge, and you’ll also be able to share the boundaries and consequences for stepping over the line. If you just can’t give up control of some areas now, tell them to show their trustworthiness by working on those areas first. That will also keep them accountable.
It may not feel like it’s time to begin loosening the reins at age 13 or 14, but if done right and with clear boundaries, it is better to do it a little early than too late.
Proper Response to Teen Rulebreaking
By Mark Gregston
When a teen breaks the rules, they need a responsible adult to respond, not react. To respond is to offer calmness, honesty, love, grace and support while seeking to correct the misbehavior. However, to react is to become emotional, angry, hurt, quick to judge, and often harsh.
Knee-jerk reactions are almost always counterproductive. We have all done it. Our teen comes home two hours past curfew. We have been waiting up, worrying about all the possible horrible reasons for him being late; we’re an emotional wreck at this point. Then he calmly waltzes in, and ignores us sitting in the chair. That does it! Our brain seems to turn off. We feel disrespected and start yelling. “Where have you been?” “I’ve been waiting up for hours.” “How dare you!”
Parent Survival Kit
40% off helpful resources
Parent Survival Kit
Our parent help library!
Mark’s most popular resources for parents.
LEARN MORE >>
Reacting to your teen will probably never give you the change you intended or wanted. Responding properly can be difficult and takes lots of practice. Counting to ten is good, but then what? Parents of teens must learn to stop their mouths, think about needs to be done, and only then should they speak or act. So, “Stop, Think, Act” is the plan.
You cannot ignore or overlook inappropriate behavior. You must respond based on what you know is true – your faith, your own beliefs, and what you know is best for your child. You might be dealing with just an ice cube, or you might have just touched on the tip of the iceberg of what’s going on in your teen’s life, so don’t burn bridges with harsh reactions.
Stand your ground concerning the boundaries, and follow through on consequences, but strive to get through it all with your relationship intact. Then your teen will learn to respect the healthy boundaries you’ve put into place in his life, and in the future will continue to come to you whenever he is struggling.
An “ounce of prevention” is spending time with your teen on a regular basis rather than force-feeding a “pound of cure” when issues arise.
In fact, take advantage of the “opportunity” before you to deepen your relationship. For instance, set up a weekly breakfast or dinner with just him. Be sure to mostly listen, not talk. Begin and end your discussion with making sure he understands that there is nothing he can do to make you love him more, and there’s nothing he can do to make you love him less. Don’t be afraid to ask him the hard questions. Your goal should be to establish a solid relationship and to encourage ongoing discussions; as a result, other things he is struggling with will be revealed.
What I’ve found is that most kids who appear to be spinning out of control are really good kids that are just making some poor choices. Poor because their actions will take them to a place where they don’t want to end up.
If this describes recent happenings with your teen, I’m sure that you’ll get over this “bump in the road.” And one day you’ll thank God for not only getting you through it, but allowing you to endure it to the point of producing a new depth of relationship with your child.
Michelle Muncy
Marketing Planner
ChildSharing, Inc.
805.550.3663
To show your teenager you’re really on their side, begin talking about ways to give them more freedoms.
Periodically talk to your teen about ways for them to gain more freedom and independence, right along with more responsibilities. They’ll welcome the challenge, and you’ll also be able to share the boundaries and consequences for stepping over the line. If you just can’t give up control of some areas now, tell them to show their trustworthiness by working on those areas first. That will also keep them accountable.
It may not feel like it’s time to begin loosening the reins at age 13 or 14, but if done right and with clear boundaries, it is better to do it a little early than too late.
Proper Response to Teen Rulebreaking
By Mark Gregston
When a teen breaks the rules, they need a responsible adult to respond, not react. To respond is to offer calmness, honesty, love, grace and support while seeking to correct the misbehavior. However, to react is to become emotional, angry, hurt, quick to judge, and often harsh.
Knee-jerk reactions are almost always counterproductive. We have all done it. Our teen comes home two hours past curfew. We have been waiting up, worrying about all the possible horrible reasons for him being late; we’re an emotional wreck at this point. Then he calmly waltzes in, and ignores us sitting in the chair. That does it! Our brain seems to turn off. We feel disrespected and start yelling. “Where have you been?” “I’ve been waiting up for hours.” “How dare you!”
Parent Survival Kit
40% off helpful resources
Parent Survival Kit
Our parent help library!
Mark’s most popular resources for parents.
LEARN MORE >>
Reacting to your teen will probably never give you the change you intended or wanted. Responding properly can be difficult and takes lots of practice. Counting to ten is good, but then what? Parents of teens must learn to stop their mouths, think about needs to be done, and only then should they speak or act. So, “Stop, Think, Act” is the plan.
You cannot ignore or overlook inappropriate behavior. You must respond based on what you know is true – your faith, your own beliefs, and what you know is best for your child. You might be dealing with just an ice cube, or you might have just touched on the tip of the iceberg of what’s going on in your teen’s life, so don’t burn bridges with harsh reactions.
Stand your ground concerning the boundaries, and follow through on consequences, but strive to get through it all with your relationship intact. Then your teen will learn to respect the healthy boundaries you’ve put into place in his life, and in the future will continue to come to you whenever he is struggling.
An “ounce of prevention” is spending time with your teen on a regular basis rather than force-feeding a “pound of cure” when issues arise.
In fact, take advantage of the “opportunity” before you to deepen your relationship. For instance, set up a weekly breakfast or dinner with just him. Be sure to mostly listen, not talk. Begin and end your discussion with making sure he understands that there is nothing he can do to make you love him more, and there’s nothing he can do to make you love him less. Don’t be afraid to ask him the hard questions. Your goal should be to establish a solid relationship and to encourage ongoing discussions; as a result, other things he is struggling with will be revealed.
What I’ve found is that most kids who appear to be spinning out of control are really good kids that are just making some poor choices. Poor because their actions will take them to a place where they don’t want to end up.
If this describes recent happenings with your teen, I’m sure that you’ll get over this “bump in the road.” And one day you’ll thank God for not only getting you through it, but allowing you to endure it to the point of producing a new depth of relationship with your child.
Michelle Muncy
Marketing Planner
ChildSharing, Inc.
805.550.3663
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Ask Your Teen Lots Of Questions!!
By Mark Gregston
If parents asked more questions of teens, problems wouldn’t escalate into disasters.
I have found that parents don’t ask enough questions. Perhaps that’s because they just don’t believe that babysitters, relatives, step-children or even teachers will abuse their child. And they don’t think their teenager will ever use drugs, become sexually involved, think of suicide or shoplift. But wise parents understand that these can happen, and they are always on the lookout.
The power of asking questions is amazing. So get the conversation going by asking, “What’s the best thing that happened to you today?” Then, “What’s the worst?” And give your teen your undivided attention a few minutes every day, constantly assuring them that they can always express themselves freely to you about anything.
Michelle Muncy
Marketing Planner
ChildSharing, Inc.
805.550.3663
If parents asked more questions of teens, problems wouldn’t escalate into disasters.
I have found that parents don’t ask enough questions. Perhaps that’s because they just don’t believe that babysitters, relatives, step-children or even teachers will abuse their child. And they don’t think their teenager will ever use drugs, become sexually involved, think of suicide or shoplift. But wise parents understand that these can happen, and they are always on the lookout.
The power of asking questions is amazing. So get the conversation going by asking, “What’s the best thing that happened to you today?” Then, “What’s the worst?” And give your teen your undivided attention a few minutes every day, constantly assuring them that they can always express themselves freely to you about anything.
Michelle Muncy
Marketing Planner
ChildSharing, Inc.
805.550.3663
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Mark Gregston on parenting Today's Teens
Teenagers are stepping over the line when they speak disrespectfully or take your stuff without asking.
Another word for the proverbial “line” not to cross is “boundaries.” Defining your boundaries will help an immature child learn how to respond and relate to others. For instance, “We will talk with respect to one another,” or, “We will respect each other’s property.”
But does your teenager know what your boundaries are? I advocate writing down your boundaries and posting them front and center so they are clear, including the associated consequences for stepping over the line, so he also knows the penalty for immature behavior.
Doing so will bring peace to your home and help your teen learn the right way to behave in every relationship.
from "Parenting Today's Teens Radio"
Another word for the proverbial “line” not to cross is “boundaries.” Defining your boundaries will help an immature child learn how to respond and relate to others. For instance, “We will talk with respect to one another,” or, “We will respect each other’s property.”
But does your teenager know what your boundaries are? I advocate writing down your boundaries and posting them front and center so they are clear, including the associated consequences for stepping over the line, so he also knows the penalty for immature behavior.
Doing so will bring peace to your home and help your teen learn the right way to behave in every relationship.
from "Parenting Today's Teens Radio"
Sunday, May 17, 2009
High School Students Pitch to Strengthen Marriages and Families
High School Students Pitch to Strengthen Marriages and Families Takes Top Award at 2009 DECA International Competition
The top award at the 2009 annual DECA conference in Anaheim went to an internet business plan for strengthening marriages and families. Nearly 15,000 teenagers representing 185,000 of their peers in over 4,500 chapters across the US, Canada, Germany, Mexico, Guam and Puerto Rico gathered several blocks from Disney Land recently to pitch the next big idea in a fiercely competitive contest for the best internet marketing plan. A three-member team from Cypress Bay High School in Weston, Florida brought home their school's first top international award with a pitch to harness the power of the Internet to teach relationship skills that strengthen marriages and families.
Anaheim, CA (PRWEB) May 15, 2009 -- The top award at this year's annual DECA meeting in Anaheim went to an internet business plan for strengthening marriages and families. Nearly 15,000 teenagers representing over 185,000 of their peers in 5,000 chapters across the US, Canada, Germany, Mexico and Puerto Rico gathered just blocks from Disney Land recently to pitch the next big idea in a fiercely competitive contest for the best internet marketing plan. A three-member team from Cypress Bay High School in Weston, Florida brought home their school's first top international award with a pitch to harness the power of the Internet to teach relationship skills that strengthen marriages and families.
Cypress Bay seniors Stephanie Castano, Ale Azor and junior Michael Eisenberg spent nearly eight months developing their plan to bring relationship skills training classes to the Internet.
"We wanted to create a business plan that would make a difference for people all over the world," Michael Eisenberg, 17, said. "Our research showed that when people learn relationship skills, they have happier, more successful lives. They do better in school, with their friends, at home, and one day with their own families. Our plan is to bring these skills to millions of people through the power of the Internet," Eisenberg said. His hope, he added, is that "stronger, healthier, more loving relationships would lead to fewer divorces and reduce many of the things that are more likely when families break-up, like drug and alcohol addictions, teen pregnancies, dropping out of school, homelessness, and poverty."
Stephanie Castano, 18, said she was sold on a plan for relationship skills classes after attending a PAIRS (PAIRS Online) marriage education program at a local YMCA in Fort Lauderdale. "I saw couples who came to class looking so unhappy and distant. By the end of the class, they were in love again," she said. "I've seen the impact on so many of my friends and peers of their families breaking up," she said. "I realized from the class that many of these marriages that are ending in divorce could be saved through relationship skills training. We thought that if we could bring this concept to the Internet, it would make it possible for everyone, everywhere to benefit."
"When marriages and families are strong," Castano said, "everything goes better."
"It's so hard for students to concentrate at school and do well academically when there's instability, unhappiness, and turmoil at home," she added. "I can't think of many better ways of helping my peers become more successful and happy then helping their parents get it together," she said. "The skills also help kids talk to their parents and have better relationships with their siblings, friends, teachers and others," Castano said. "It's great for any human relationship."
Two of the three team members are themselves children of divorce. One commented that if their parents could have attended a relationship skills class like PAIRS before they broke up, their lives might have been different.
"Helping people learn to communicate, fight fair, express their emotions, and deal with their problems takes skill," Ale Azor, 18, said. "I saw firsthand in the PAIRS classes that these skills are easy to learn if two people are open to learning and want their relationship to succeed," she said. "The idea of bringing this to the Internet," Azor added, "is because some people may be shy about attending a class about relationships, others are so busy they can't get to a class, and many people live in places where classes aren't offered. The Internet makes it possible for anyone to participate."
Azor said she was surprised to learn how inexpensive it is for couples to learn relationship skills. "It's really something anyone can afford, especially over the Internet," Azor said. "And when you compare it to the cost of breaking up, especially the impact on kids, the cost is inconsequential," she added.
Michael Eisenberg said his team spent eight months researching and developing their plan. "We attended PAIRS classes and also went to see some of the competitors," he said. "Then we interviewed participants from the classes and others who did not attend. We realized that with the right marketing plan and the power of the Internet, our idea could really change the world," he said. "We want relationship skills classes to be as normal as drivers education," he added. "Just like you have to learn to drive a car or learn skills to be successful in sports or your career, successful, lasting relationships take learning specific skills too. We want everyone to have these skills."
The trio's business plan got the attention of executives at the PAIRS Foundation early on. Diana Ossa, PAIRS Foundation's National Project Coordinator, said the company has already begun implementing the award winning plan. "From the beginning, we saw these teenagers brought powerful, fresh ideas to the table in a plan that was creative, affordable, and well conceived," Ossa said.
"We began testing their ideas several months ago and have already begun delivering PAIRS classes over the Internet based on their plan," she said. "We've had people from across the United States, Europe, South America, Asia, and as far away as the Middle East participate in online classes in recent months based on the plan these youngsters brought to us," she said.
"The students helped so many people realize that the foundation of everything is relationships," Ossa said. "Reading, writing and arithmetic won't get anyone very far anymore without a foundation of healthy relationships. I hope their plan will help us bring relationship education to many who wouldn't have otherwise benefited," she said. "All around the world," she added, "people's hearts are in the same place. This plan will help us touch many hearts and help many children and their parents have better lives." she said. "We're so proud and happy they won!"
DECA is the Delta Epsilon Chi international association of high school and college students studying marketing, management and entrepreneurship in business, finance, hospitality and marketing sales and service. DECA chapters operate in over 4,500 high schools and 200 colleges across the U.S., Puerto Rico, Guam, Canada, and Germany. Delta Epsilon Chi/DECA
PAIRS Foundation is a 501(c)(3) non-profit established by Drs. Lori and Morris Gordon in 1983 to develop and deliver relationship skills training programs. The organization has over 2,000 facilitators worldwide and serves tens of thousands of teenagers and adults in all stages of relationship. PAIRS Foundation.
# # #
Post Comment:
Trackback URL: http://www.prweb.com/pingpr.php/SW5zZS1Db3VwLUxvdmUtRW1wdC1IYWxmLUNvdXAtWmVybw==
The top award at the 2009 annual DECA conference in Anaheim went to an internet business plan for strengthening marriages and families. Nearly 15,000 teenagers representing 185,000 of their peers in over 4,500 chapters across the US, Canada, Germany, Mexico, Guam and Puerto Rico gathered several blocks from Disney Land recently to pitch the next big idea in a fiercely competitive contest for the best internet marketing plan. A three-member team from Cypress Bay High School in Weston, Florida brought home their school's first top international award with a pitch to harness the power of the Internet to teach relationship skills that strengthen marriages and families.
Anaheim, CA (PRWEB) May 15, 2009 -- The top award at this year's annual DECA meeting in Anaheim went to an internet business plan for strengthening marriages and families. Nearly 15,000 teenagers representing over 185,000 of their peers in 5,000 chapters across the US, Canada, Germany, Mexico and Puerto Rico gathered just blocks from Disney Land recently to pitch the next big idea in a fiercely competitive contest for the best internet marketing plan. A three-member team from Cypress Bay High School in Weston, Florida brought home their school's first top international award with a pitch to harness the power of the Internet to teach relationship skills that strengthen marriages and families.
Cypress Bay seniors Stephanie Castano, Ale Azor and junior Michael Eisenberg spent nearly eight months developing their plan to bring relationship skills training classes to the Internet.
"We wanted to create a business plan that would make a difference for people all over the world," Michael Eisenberg, 17, said. "Our research showed that when people learn relationship skills, they have happier, more successful lives. They do better in school, with their friends, at home, and one day with their own families. Our plan is to bring these skills to millions of people through the power of the Internet," Eisenberg said. His hope, he added, is that "stronger, healthier, more loving relationships would lead to fewer divorces and reduce many of the things that are more likely when families break-up, like drug and alcohol addictions, teen pregnancies, dropping out of school, homelessness, and poverty."
Stephanie Castano, 18, said she was sold on a plan for relationship skills classes after attending a PAIRS (PAIRS Online) marriage education program at a local YMCA in Fort Lauderdale. "I saw couples who came to class looking so unhappy and distant. By the end of the class, they were in love again," she said. "I've seen the impact on so many of my friends and peers of their families breaking up," she said. "I realized from the class that many of these marriages that are ending in divorce could be saved through relationship skills training. We thought that if we could bring this concept to the Internet, it would make it possible for everyone, everywhere to benefit."
"When marriages and families are strong," Castano said, "everything goes better."
"It's so hard for students to concentrate at school and do well academically when there's instability, unhappiness, and turmoil at home," she added. "I can't think of many better ways of helping my peers become more successful and happy then helping their parents get it together," she said. "The skills also help kids talk to their parents and have better relationships with their siblings, friends, teachers and others," Castano said. "It's great for any human relationship."
Two of the three team members are themselves children of divorce. One commented that if their parents could have attended a relationship skills class like PAIRS before they broke up, their lives might have been different.
"Helping people learn to communicate, fight fair, express their emotions, and deal with their problems takes skill," Ale Azor, 18, said. "I saw firsthand in the PAIRS classes that these skills are easy to learn if two people are open to learning and want their relationship to succeed," she said. "The idea of bringing this to the Internet," Azor added, "is because some people may be shy about attending a class about relationships, others are so busy they can't get to a class, and many people live in places where classes aren't offered. The Internet makes it possible for anyone to participate."
Azor said she was surprised to learn how inexpensive it is for couples to learn relationship skills. "It's really something anyone can afford, especially over the Internet," Azor said. "And when you compare it to the cost of breaking up, especially the impact on kids, the cost is inconsequential," she added.
Michael Eisenberg said his team spent eight months researching and developing their plan. "We attended PAIRS classes and also went to see some of the competitors," he said. "Then we interviewed participants from the classes and others who did not attend. We realized that with the right marketing plan and the power of the Internet, our idea could really change the world," he said. "We want relationship skills classes to be as normal as drivers education," he added. "Just like you have to learn to drive a car or learn skills to be successful in sports or your career, successful, lasting relationships take learning specific skills too. We want everyone to have these skills."
The trio's business plan got the attention of executives at the PAIRS Foundation early on. Diana Ossa, PAIRS Foundation's National Project Coordinator, said the company has already begun implementing the award winning plan. "From the beginning, we saw these teenagers brought powerful, fresh ideas to the table in a plan that was creative, affordable, and well conceived," Ossa said.
"We began testing their ideas several months ago and have already begun delivering PAIRS classes over the Internet based on their plan," she said. "We've had people from across the United States, Europe, South America, Asia, and as far away as the Middle East participate in online classes in recent months based on the plan these youngsters brought to us," she said.
"The students helped so many people realize that the foundation of everything is relationships," Ossa said. "Reading, writing and arithmetic won't get anyone very far anymore without a foundation of healthy relationships. I hope their plan will help us bring relationship education to many who wouldn't have otherwise benefited," she said. "All around the world," she added, "people's hearts are in the same place. This plan will help us touch many hearts and help many children and their parents have better lives." she said. "We're so proud and happy they won!"
DECA is the Delta Epsilon Chi international association of high school and college students studying marketing, management and entrepreneurship in business, finance, hospitality and marketing sales and service. DECA chapters operate in over 4,500 high schools and 200 colleges across the U.S., Puerto Rico, Guam, Canada, and Germany. Delta Epsilon Chi/DECA
PAIRS Foundation is a 501(c)(3) non-profit established by Drs. Lori and Morris Gordon in 1983 to develop and deliver relationship skills training programs. The organization has over 2,000 facilitators worldwide and serves tens of thousands of teenagers and adults in all stages of relationship. PAIRS Foundation.
# # #
Post Comment:
Trackback URL: http://www.prweb.com/pingpr.php/SW5zZS1Db3VwLUxvdmUtRW1wdC1IYWxmLUNvdXAtWmVybw==
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
