The weight of consequences for misbehavior always needs to be commensurate to the intent behind that behavior.
A teen who periodically comes home fifteen minutes late is probably displaying immaturity and impulsiveness, not rebellion. That teen needs more reminders and perhaps an earlier curfew. On the other hand, a teen who consistently comes home late with the attitude, “No one is telling me what to do!” needs to experience stronger consequences. That’s when taking away car privileges or grounding him would be appropriate.
It’s important for parents to differentiate between willful and accidental disobedience and assign consequences appropriately. Consequences can correct behavior, but basing them on the wrong intent can lead to more serious problems.
©2011 Mark Gregston www.parentingtodaysteens.org.
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