Three Trusts leads to a more successful Child-Centered Divorce

Three Trusts leads to a more successful Child-Centered Divorce
I'm quite impressed with the Three Trusts concept, the brainchild of Parent Educator and Conflict Coach, Ruth Rinehart. Take Ruth's message to heart and incorporate into your parenting strategies. You won't go wrong.
The fear of having our actions used in litigation is an awful cloud over parenting. The world in the courtroom is a separate world from the relationship between parent and child. Sometimes what is right for the child might not necessarily look good in court. These are the sad facts.

In my Three Trusts class for divorced parents, the first Trust is to Trust Yourself as a Parent, because parents are so often slammed by the other side on their parenting skills and style. By trusting yourself, it leads to more confidence, stability, consistency for the kids.

Then, the second trust is to Trust the Other Parent to be a "good enough" parent. That means that if the kids get to stay up late, have a "friend" instead of a parent, in the other household, its still our job to support the other parent (because if they aren't abusing the child, then they ARE a good enough parent). One of the best sentences is: "every household is different. This is the way we do it in this household." No reason to be defensive about it

The third trust is to Trust Your Child. They do grow up, and they do figure things out. They can tell the difference between a sane household, and a crazy one. You don't ever have to malign the other parent, or explain the challenges you face. (I know everyone reading this probably understands these things, but it does help parents who aren't in this field!).

My oldest daughter is 25 now, and I rue the times when I didn't trust her. She came through some rough spots, but is on a good path now.

It's wise to remember that conflict can often reign in intact families. Truth is, that conflict is very damaging to the kids as well. A terrific website is: www.uptoparents.org .

To learn more about Ruth Rinehart and her services, visit www.threetrusts.com.
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Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator and author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids ... about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love!. For free articles, her blog, valuable resources on child-centered divorce or to subscribe to her free ezine, go to: www.childcentereddivorce.com

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