Child-Centered Divorce: Three Trusts leads to Greater Success
Three Trusts leads to a more successful Child-Centered Divorce
I'm quite impressed with the Three Trusts concept, the brainchild
of Parent Educator and Conflict Coach, Ruth Rinehart. Take Ruth's
message to heart and incorporate into your parenting strategies.
You won't go wrong.
The fear of having our actions used in litigation is an awful cloud
over parenting. The world in the courtroom is a separate world from
the relationship between parent and child. Sometimes what is right
for the child might not necessarily look good in court. These are
the sad facts.
In my Three Trusts class for divorced parents, the first Trust is
to Trust Yourself as a Parent, because parents are so often slammed
by the other side on their parenting skills and style. By trusting
yourself, it leads to more confidence, stability, consistency for
the kids.
Then, the second trust is to Trust the Other Parent to be a "good
enough" parent. That means that if the kids get to stay up late,
have a "friend" instead of a parent, in the other household, its
still our job to support the other parent (because if they aren't
abusing the child, then they ARE a good enough parent). One of the
best sentences is: "every household is different. This is the way
we do it in this household." No reason to be defensive about it
The third trust is to Trust Your Child. They do grow up, and they
do figure things out. They can tell the difference between a sane
household, and a crazy one. You don't ever have to malign the other
parent, or explain the challenges you face. (I know everyone
reading this probably understands these things, but it does help
parents who aren't in this field!).
My oldest daughter is 25 now, and I rue the times when I didn't
trust her. She came through some rough spots, but is on a good path
now.
It is wise to remember that conflict can often reign in intact
families. Truth is, that conflict is very damaging to the
kids as well. A terrific website is: www.uptoparents.org .
To learn more about Ruth Rinehart and her services, visit
www.threetrusts.com.
* * *
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a relationship seminar facilitator and
author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids ... about the
Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children --
with Love!. For free articles, her blog, valuable resources on
child-centered divorce or to subscribe to her free ezine, go to:
www.childcentereddivorce.com
8095 Popash Court, Boynton Beach, FL 33437, USA
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
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