Divorce Done Wrong: Outrageous Parental Outbursts

Divorce Done Wrong: Outrageous Parental Outbursts
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
Because I'm recognized as The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce, my first concern revolves around children and divorce. This is my take on the many divorce-in-the-news cases that attract public attention. With new technology such as YouTube.com, social media sites, email alerts, MP3 files, etc. now available to anyone who wants their day in public, there's a new array of divorce-related venting, ranting and raving for all to see. The actress Trisha Walsh Smith's YouTube public blast about her husband and their divorce is one such example.
Trisha used the video format to put down her husband for not giving her a fair deal in their marriage and divorce. Fortunately Trisha does not have young children because they would be dramatically affected by such an ego-centric outburst. Should parents experiencing divorce follow her example, they will be doing lifelong damage to their innocent children (who have to "handle" the public attention to their parents' divorce!)

Even without young children, her "tirade" affected the personal lives of many members of her and his family, forcing them into the limelight without their consent. This is a very selfish approach to bringing attention to her personal plight. Right or wrong in her gripe, she had no right to drag others into this embarrassing outburst. Showing photos and criticizing his family in public went way beyond venting about her circumstances. She would have been mortified if her husband had behaved in the same manner.
Ultimately she received a lot of media attention, which was her goal. However I don't believe it worked in her favor. I believe we must remind adults that just because new technology is available in our world, it does not mean we should break the boundaries of civility, respect and maturity in trying to make our points. We can't use naivety about the consequences as an excuse for poor taste, emotional abuse, or immature behavior. Those boundaries should come from within.
What frightens me most is the fear that divorcing parents might emulate this behavior without thinking about how it would affect their children. Even grown children will be mortified by parents hauling their dirty laundry up the flag pole in public arenas, just because they can.

I believe this kind of behavior, in the future, will come to be known as pulling a "Trisha." Let's hope Trisha becomes a poster child for how not to conduct yourself when your divorce gets dirty and you feel like lashing out!

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Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, is the author of the new ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! For more information about the book, her free articles, ezine and other valuable resources for parents, visit http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.