In working with teens, I hear time and time again that teens wish their parents would spend more time with them. Are you listening parents? Your teen is asking you to spend more time with them.
How can we spend more time together?
1. Family meals. How often are you eating together? Are you spending one meal a day eating with your family? Get your teen involved. Ask them to help in meal planning. Give them a chore – such as setting the table. Even better, maybe they enjoy cooking. Give them the reigns once or twice a week. Put them in charge of dinner and see what they can cook.
2. Exercise. Many teens are lacking in the exercise department. Ask your teen to take a walk around the neighborhood after dinner. This will give you some one-on-one time to talk. And exercise also raises your body’s endorphin levels which has a very positive effect on mood.
3. Praise your teen. When you catch your teen doing something right or making a good choice, praise them. Tell them that you’re impressed with their decision or hard work in school. Be specific and sincere. They may be embarrassed by the compliment, but it’ll go a long way to bolstering their self-esteem.
4. Encourage your teen to read. Find out what their interests are. Take a ride to the book store. Offer to buy them a book. If they have difficulty with reading, maybe they would prefer a magazine, stick with ones that are skill or hobby related – cars, horses or something of that nature, not gossip magazines. Reading feeds the mind the way that food feeds the body. If you have a reluctant reader or just want a change of pace, visit the library and take out a few audiobooks and listen to them in the car together. It’ll give you something extra to discuss and enjoy together.
5. Encourage your teen to work. It is rewarding to have a job and receive a pay check. Then your teen can also learn financial responsibility. However in today’s market, teens are the hardest hit in difficulty finding a job. If your teen is hitting a wall with finding a job, suggest an entrepreneurial adventure, such as lawn cutting, landscaping or babysitting. There are also online businesses they can make money in such as selling items on Ebay or if they are crafty, perhaps opening an Etsy store to sell their creations. The two of you could work together on a plan or a business.
6. Volunteer. If finding a job or an entrepreneurial adventure is unsuccessful, suggest a volunteer opportunity. It may be something the two of you can do together. Find something they are interested in. You want to keep them busy. When your teens volunteer, they will learn skills, network and help others. There are a variety of volunteer opportunities that you can find online from the United Way
So many teenagers say they use drugs because they are “bored.” Don’t let your teen become one of the statistics. Spend time with your teen. Help them discover and use their interests and talents to help themselves build and live a successful and happy life.
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